Here's the first, thicker patty cooking:
As expected, the first burger was a bit of a disaster. The patty came apart in a few places and was spitting hot grease at me continously. It was like a king cobra defending its territory, only with hot grease instead of venom. Tasty, tasty venom. I was able to perfect a method of flipping the bacon patty utilizing two spatulas.
There is a lapse in pictures here. The only explanation that I can offer up is that I had inhaled a few days worth of sodium from the cooking fumes and was not thinking straight. I think I am the first person to have freebased bacon. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of the second, thinner patty cooking. Nor are there any pictures of the many puddles of grease on my stove that later joined forces to form a grease lake.
Without further ado, I present The Bacon Cheese Baconburger:
The final contents: baconburger patty, cheddar cheese, 2 slices of bacon, ranch dressing and fresh ground pepper. Wait--what's that on the crown of the bun?
It's Walla Walla Sweet Onion Mustard with Smokey Bacon! Yes, the only way to top a baconburger topped with 2 slices of bacon is with a bacon mustard. Mustard with bacon in it. Talk about a timesaver. If anyone knows where to find mayo with bacon in it, please e-mail me.
If there's one thing I've learned in my years of bacon consumption, and I believe it's the only thing I've learned, is that you need a big glass of water at the ready:
What good is a burger picture without a cross section view:
I can almost smell it. Wait, that's just the lingering aroma in my apartment.
And finally, the obligatory empty plate picture:
I'd like to say I'll never attempt anything this stupid again, or that I've learned my lesson or something else along those lines. But I haven't. I think I've made it abundantly clear that I will continue to do stupid things without any regard for my health. See you next time!
Update 12/26/07: I've gotten a lot of emails asking what it tasted like. It wasn't that bad for the first half of the sandwich, but after that the saltiness was overwhelming. If you plan to make one of these on your own, I'd skip the bacon and ranch dressing toppings. It'd be much better that way.
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