Surrender:

I was telling a friend about my disappointment and frustration about the universe in regards to my injury. She offered me the following comments.

“I have a feeling that your doubting/ challenging/ questioning issue has something to do with wanting control. The thought that came to me was that the soul has its purposes for my life, and one of those purposes is to lead me to let go of the illusion that I do, or am supposed to consciously control what happens. I'm in charge of creating my response. We co-create our lives with Divine Creator, and one of the things we co-create is the opportunity to learn surrender. Sort of a Zen koan: it's both one thing and the other. What do you think?”

I think it is a great question that has multitudes of other questions within it. Surrender and control are certainly major issues. One of the results of surrendering can be loss and diminishment of your life. Another result could be letting go and opening to new ways. Control can be in charge and going forth with your life, or it could be rigid and fear based.

The crucifixion of Jesus is a wonderful symbolic and literal enactment of her question, surrendering to the guidance of God and/or soul. Jesus’ life was the hall mark of spiritual sacrifice, the doing of God’s will. Not Thy Will, but Thine Will. The surrender of the ego to Divine Will. The ultimate surrender, that of consciously giving your life to God.

Lets look at this from the personality and soul level. Starting with the personality level; Jesus, born human, strived to live a good life. He taught peaceful loving ways; teaching people to love God and mankind. He did his best to respond to situations with compassion and understanding. Basically a good intending individual.

Naturally, the authorities don’t like him. Jesus is a threat to their way of being. This is going cause some bumps in Jesus’ life, as bucking the ways of authority always does. Jesus was in big trouble. Authority nailed him to the cross for threatening their power under the guise of the alleged crimes he didn’t commit. I don’t know how others feel, but I wouldn’t be excited about this prospect. I would consider it rather unfair. What did Jesus do to deserve this? He taught love.

At least Jesus had his faith, his love of God. But wait, this isn’t just humanity’s cruel and unjust ways, this is God’s will, God’s plan. God had planned this crucifixion from the beginning, and Jesus was to accept it!

Why would God make such a plan for Jesus? Hadn’t Jesus done everything God asked of him? Hadn’t Jesus given his whole life to claiming the One All Powerful God is a just and loving God? Jesus might have asked, by the way God, I still don’t have a clue as to how my dying on the cross will save anyone? How can anyone be saved by this plan and my death? Why have you asked this of me? “Why have you forsaken me?”

For me, this plan teaches the personality all the wrong lessons. Follow God’s will and you may end up on the cross for crimes you did not commit. I think God needs to come up with better plans. Sounds like the ultimate deception to me. If soul and God have plans that I would consider to be detrimental to my being, I want to know what they are before I agree to any such nonsense.

Moving to the soul perspective; God came to Jesus, who represents heart, and said, the ways of Love are missing on earth right now, with the Romans conquering and all. We need some way to get humanity to stop fighting in the name of this god and that god. How about we introduce the ideal of unity and love? How about the ideal of devotion to one God, a just and loving God that cares for them all?

Of course, God with His omniscience, knew this wasn’t going to be so easy. Jesus might find just a little resistance down there on earth. However, in the long run, a little more than four thousand years, humanity might just change its ways.

I can imagine God saying, by the way, Jesus, you’ll learn all these wonderful things. Patience as an example, for it will take a very long time for my plan to work out, and you’ll have to continue to guide humanity after they sabotage your teachings. That is another great gift, the letting go of any attachment you might have to the outcome of your teachings or your life. Of course, you will have to learn forgiveness, for even your closest friends will abandon and betray you. On a soul level, Jesus was really excited about all these opportunities. Off to earth he went.

Spirit has lost touch with being physical. Sitting in its lofty domains, spirit’s perspective is that the pain will only last for a brief time. Spirit thinks about all the wonderful lessons you will have learned. Perhaps it is not so different than our forgotten past with all our pains that seem to dissipate with time. However, there are impressions and imprinting from those experiences that are stored in our subconscious which effect many lifetimes.

I remember a conversation with my soul. Soul was saying, “How are you going to learn how hatred is created if you don’t go to war?” In that distant life time, the king was going to have me killed on the spot if I didn’t join his army. So off to war I went. At least I was giving myself a chance to live by joining his army, rather than being killed by him immediately. Now all I have to do is survive the war. On earth you go through lives like a box of Kleenex when you have a bad cold.

Perhaps suffering is allowed as a path on this planet up to the point of blowing the planet up. There is always Mad Max as a probable future reality. Internally of course, our spirit is at perfect peace.

Lets say for a moment that you are willing to give up directing your life. After all your choices haven’t exactly lead you to the full rewarding life that you had imagined! So you make the leap and say, “Spirit/soul/God, I give you my life.”

This path has been tried a number of times. Some hear a small voice within and it says, “Do this.” The consequences of following that voice ended in violation of another committed in God’s name. Or perhaps you end up in an insane asylum, because no one else thinks you are hearing the voice of God. These days, there is medication to take care of those intruding inner voices. However, none of these consequences have any meaning for you whatsoever, for you have given up your worldly life and these consequences are of no concern to you.

There are many less dramatic examples, and there are those communications which actually seemed to turn out for the better. The point being, not exactly a full proof system, and its the person here in the physical, me!, who ultimately bears the consequences for my actions.

Personality blames spirit: its God’s will. I had no choice. Spirit has the perfect out: “You didn’t get it right. That wasn’t me.” Religions use blame and guilt to perfection. You are bad when you don’t follow the laws of our religion and God will punish you. If you are suffering, its God’s will because you are a miserable creature.

When it comes right down to it, no matter what I receive from above, I’m responsible for the choices I make and the actions I take. Therefore, I would really like some assurance that if I accept a set of beliefs and follow a path into that uncreated future, it is not going to be like stepping off a cliff and discovering I have no chance of flying. Why didn’t someone tell me about gravity?

You enter a relationship. You are hoping it to be a fulfilling rewarding relationship: someone to make love with, laugh, and share your life with. A couple of years or a decade go by, and the relationship has turned into the worst nightmare you can imagine. Your life is a mess and now you have to start all over again. Or you take a new job on the other side of the country, and it doesn’t turn out the way you had hoped. These little choices and consequences are adding up, and we are not getting any younger.

I have some concerns about how my well meaning intentions and desires manifest. How and on what basis do I make decisions that will lead to my joy and happiness? Will stepping off that cliff take me on a journey to the stars, or had I better call 911? Absolutely, I would like to be able to control what happens to me.

Here is another scenario I really hate. Spirit says, it knows what is best for me. These lessons are for your own good. This reminds me of my father. When I was a child, he would say, “You will understand when you grow up”. We’ve all heard that one.

In hindsight, what I think he was saying was, I lost my hopes and dreams. You too will loose your dreams and succumb to all the demands of living in the real world. See how you feel then. The reflection I was offering my father was the hopes and joys of the child. It is painful to reflect upon that loss, which can generate a lot of unconscious anger and rage at how one’s life has turned out.

Subtly, I started writing from another voice, almost unperceivable from my own except for what was being said:

“Another child who wants me to take care of them because their life is a mess. They always want to come home when they can’t take it anymore. Then they blame Me for all the suffering in their lives and the world and want me to fix it. Really it is not up to me to make decisions for you. I gave you free will and your life is your responsibility.

“Now that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I do. I care a great deal about what happens to you. I provide you with every opportunity possible, all riches of the universe are there, but it is up to you what you do with them. And really, while I’m omnipotent, I really have enough to do without running every detail of your life. Believe it or not, I have a lot to do, and you are part of my responsibilities. But I hate it when you demand every moment of my attention like some spoiled brat who throws a tantrum every time things don’t go your way. I am here for you. We both have responsibilities in creating what happens. Your blame goes something like this; Why are you punishing me? Why have you abandoned me? Why don’t things turn out right when I try to be so good?

“I’m not responsible for your choices. You want to be god like and then you don’t want any of the responsibilities that goes with it. You want power and knowledge, and then you abuse everyone and everything with it. You don’t take responsibility for what you do create with what I have given you. Then you want more power, for you feel if you had more power and control you could bend the world to your desires. This is not in alignment with my plan, my laws. I am a loving God, and that means love for each of you. You can not keep abusing each other and expect me to further empower you. You hate me for this as a child who hates his parents for not giving them everything they want when they want it. You need to learn to create responsibly, that will open the doors for further creativity and empowerment.

“You see the dilemma here? You hate me for not saving you, and not giving you more power to create your lives according to your desire. I’m annoyed with my creation for how it has turned out. It’s like a piece of art that won’t bend to my will. I don’t totally like that analogy, for it implies that I am trying to control the out come of my creation. My creation is like an artwork that won’t realize itself. You can sense the beauty within, but you can’t get the form to bring itself forth. For the from has free will, and each pixel/person must realize itself as the divinity it is for the painting to be totally realized. Creation is a creative process that includes empowerment for all, and the pursuit of joy, liberty and justice for all. Where have you heard those words before? A noble idea wouldn’t you say, and one that has not been realized by your current civilization.

“So we are still acting out child parent roles. It is time to evolve beyond those roles while still honoring our different right places. I am beyond your current level of consciousness, and you need to respect that, and at the same time you need to take responsibility for who you are, and realize the divinity of your being.”

Where did that come from? Um... back to Raymond here. Contained within the idea of surrender, giving your life over to God, is loss of control. You loose conscious participation in the planning and creating of your life. This also generates the feelings of a gap between the personality, soul, and monad. This lack of a conscious bridge which integrates these levels from personality to soul and higher, can create victim consciousness. The only way not to be a victim is to understand your creative role in manifesting the circumstances and events of your life.

I much prefer the idea “open to” rather than surrender. I open myself to divine knowing and joy... the divinity within. I choose to bring forth that divinity in my life here and now. I choose to use my four bodies for the realization of Self which is in perfect harmony with God’s plan. I choose to align myself with my highest good, which is not at the expense of anyone or anything. I choose to use my personality and all its qualities to support and bring forth my divinity... my beingness.

“The myth is: if we didn’t have laws and everyone did what they wanted, then there would be complete chaos. It is our hope that each of you will do what you truly want. Chaos is built upon the idea of scarcity and competition, with power based upon domination of others. What is being suggested is: in God’s plan there is abundance for all, and no one’s self realization need happen at the expense of anyone or anything. There is a plan of such harmony and beauty that all, each and every one of us and all the other kingdoms, can be realized to their fullest and coexist.”

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