Solaren, You Are Not Alone

These are my final notes on my life long scientific study to find another similar intelligence as my own, "out there" in the starry vault. For some it may seem like a waste of a lifetime to probe the neighboring star system for signs of life. For me, it was a deep yearning to know if that starry vault was anything more than cold empty space, or if it was a great mystery cloaking intelligences that had yet to be perceived.

If we are alone, what is the purpose of infinity? If we are alone, then those points of light that animate the darkness hold out no hope, but rather mirror the philosophy of something unreachable, unknowable, and finally fatal. I preferred to believe that infinity and the starry vault above, are the vast creativity of an unending purposeful creation. Somehow, the proof of other beings "out there" was a step in that direction.

This quest has been my life long passion and work, but alas I have grown old. I have exhausted my efforts, my money is gone, such limited funds that I had. For a moment, on my last attempt, I thought I was going to break through. I had contacted somebody "out there". He looked to me to be a young man, perhaps in his early twenties. However, I am afraid you will think my perception/experience was some kind of trick of the mind, the results of an old man's desire and hope...an old man who all his life wanted to believe there must be someone else out there.

I'm a scientist, but my colleagues would politely and respectfully infer that I'm a bit of an eccentric scientist whose theories and mechanical device will never prove there is life beyond our planet. It is only the wishful thought of a romantic dreamer.

In my lifetime, our sciences had developed to the point that we could measure brain activity. Some people on our world were even becoming adept at sensing other people's thoughts and feelings. We know that all brain activity puts out an energy, and depending upon the number of people and the intention behind a thought, we could measure the strength of the thought. It was still a new science, and as always the theoretical, the application, and an individual's rights were being discussed in relation to the development of this science.

My theory was this, if there is intelligent life "out there" that resembled us in mental capacity, then the mental activity of a civilization aught to be detectable. In other words, the collective mental energy of a civilization on some distant planet might show up within the same measurable frequencies that we can measure brain activity here on our home planet. At first it might be difficult to recognize the collective patterns of a species besides our own. However, if I could find even the smallest trace of a frequency that fell within our mental energy bands, then I might be able to begin to recognize patterns coming from another planet.

The main challenge was to build a device which had enough power to probe the neighboring star systems. In addition, I hoped to be able to send a pattern from my own brain which could be perceived by another similar species. If the device worked and my theories were correct, I would be able to make contact with another life form who had similar mental capabilities as my own species. I was hopeful that through this energetic beam we would be able to establish a link, a line of communication where we could share information about our worlds and what we were like, thus proving we were not alone.

Hooked into the device, I would use a star chart to probe the neighboring star systems. The procedure was tedious, for I was only able to direct a single beam of energy outward, and then ever so slowly cover minuscule parts of space. What I did receive would show up as patterns in my mind, and on a device I created for recording the frequencies

I did not know with any certainly how contact with another species would register in my mind. Nor did I know how I would be perceived by another on some distant planet. Here on my home planet, those who had this capability did not always experience mental contact in the same way. Some receive a rather clear mental picture. Others heard words, and still others had bodily sensation which they learned to interpret. For myself, it seem to be a combination of pictures and an internal conversation.

This was to be my last effort. My funds were depleted and I could no longer afford to pay for the power needed to drive the device. I was getter older, I was without support for the project, and I was tired of searching. At this point in my life, the project seemed hopeless, too big for any one person to accomplish.

On this clear starry night, I once again turned my consciousness towards the infinite vaulted night sky in hopes of proving we were not alone. Where to focus? In what direction of infinity should I cast my last effort and hope? If I had a hundred lifetimes, I could not begin to cover the vastness of space that surrounded me. I had up until this evening, kept methodical records on the star charts of where I had probed. Tonight, that process seemed dauntingly tedious. Should I throw years of patient practice aside, and choose a direction based on what?

Sitting in my chair, I put on the device. I was thinking, it seemed odd after all these years that this would be my last attempt. This moment was more like a dream than the dedicated practice of a scientist. Not focusing, not choosing consciously, I just turned the machine on and gazed out through my mind at the infinity that I had been studying for so long. An infinity that I loved and whose mysteries covered great secrets. Secrets my heart and mind were willing to spend a lifetime gazing upon. It was also an infinity that struck fear in the hearts of some, and was ever so lonely for others.

Suddenly, and without any focused intention on my part, I began to sense a young man in a room. The room's only light came through a window. It looked to me as if it must be night time, and the young man was asleep on a bed. As I widened my view I could see very tall buildings densely packed together. However, the connection was with the young man.

I had done it! This was another civilization on another planet. His physical form was identical to my own, as far as my first viewing could reveal. Of course it was far too early to make any other comparisons, but I was ecstatic. My life's work had come to fruition in that moment. I had contacted another being with similar mental capabilities.

As I focused on the young man, he began to stir. I could tell he was becoming aware of me. The device was functioning as I had hoped it would. Through the energy beam he was able to see me sitting at my desk in my home. In that most wondrous moment, we saw each other.

For me it was a moment I had waited for for all my life, and still I was unprepared for it. For him, I was a stranger intruding upon his consciousness, and he had no idea of who I was, or how I had gotten there. This was something that I could not fully anticipate, how I might appear to another, and what effect it might have. How could I know?

The young man was clearly startled and confused. I could sense that he was very open to the idea that there must be life out there. When he looked up at his starry vault, he too wondered, who else was out there? There was a conviction, or a profound belief, that he was not alone. For him, that starry vault echoed of creativity and life, not emptiness and being alone.

However, on that summer night he was not prepared for a stranger light years away to suddenly show up in his mind. In a moment of confusion and fear, in his mind he pushed me away and that was enough to sever the connection. I lost him. I could feel his instant regret. He was curious and scared at the same time, but I didn't have the energy or the means to reconnect. I wasn't even sure where I had been, just that I had been there.

With a heavy heart I took off the device. It was late, but I was not alone. My life's work was realized in those moments. My questions and quest had been answered. It was as if a huge hole in my being was suddenly filled. I was grateful.

I was deeply sorrowed that I was not able to reconnect with him. There was so much I wanted to know. I had hope that we could exchange information about our cultures, our history, our religious beliefs, everything. I had hoped that we could document our work together which would unquestionably prove that our minds had linked, and that there were indeed other beings "out there" just like ourselves in mental capacity. From that brief encounter, I also suspected that we had many other traits in common.

Clearly their evolution had been different than ours, that was evident by the tall, densely packed buildings. But he had feelings, thoughts, fears, and hopes. He wondered and gazed out upon the same stars. There was light coming through a window. I too have a window which gazes out upon the country side, and beams of star light travel vast distances to illuminate my desk at night. I think we are of kinder hearts, that young man and myself. I'm sorry my work has ended tonight, just as it seemed to really begin. I will rest in peace knowing that I did not fail, even if my fellow scientists do not believe these final notes.

From time to time when I am dreaming, it seems to me I can feel the young man looking for me. I take pleasure in that thought. I wish I could help him. Perhaps we don't need the device at all. Perhaps our desire to know about the universe, to know about others, to know about life, is all we need to create the bridge. Perhaps in his and my dreams, or in adjacent states of consciousness, we will carry on that dialogue, teaching each other about our worlds, sharing ourselves, and what we hope for.

Have no regrets young man for not being able to continue the connection at that time. As time has passed, I am grateful and delighted that we made the connection at all. Others will follow, where we first stepped.

Signed; Solaren,

Scientist and Student of the Universe,

Many years have passed since that initial encounter in my bedroom. At that time I was living on 34th Street in downtown Manhattan. I was in my early twenties studying dance and metaphysics. Upon reflection, I have often regretted that moment of fear. I wish I had one more chance to make contact with that elderly man who's life work had culminated and ended somewhere between my dreaming and waking states that night.

I had gone to bed that hot summer night in NYC. Dreaming, I was suddenly aware of a man starring at me. This was different than my usual dreaming where I am sometimes aware of myself as the dreamer, or upon waking, I remember a dream. I was startled out of my dream state by his presence, but I was still not fully awake either. I was in some sort of state between waking and dreaming, and it encompassed both. I could see this man in his home, and he was speaking to me.

I looked around his home, not at all sure how I was able to do that. His home was carved out of the side of a hill, but it wasn't dark or wet like one might imagine from a home carved into the earth. The rooms had windows which looked out upon the forest that surrounded his home. It was a very simple and modest home, but warm and friendly. To some it might seem barren, but to me is seemed eloquent and in keeping with the man's demeanor and the surrounding landscape, complimenting and blending with nature, rather than competing with it.

It was night time, and the house was lit with a warm yellow light. He was an elderly man. I could tell he lived alone, and spent most of his time at his work. I think he was some kind of scientist and explorer. He was sitting at a table with a device on his head. There were wires attached to the device which were connected to some sort of machine in the adjoining room. But what was he doing in my head, and how did he get there?

Somehow he had found me, but he was just as surprised as I was. How did we make the connection? As if by magic, I could sense that my rather innocent and innate curiosity and open mindedness about the universe played a part in drawing us together. My acceptance of the idea that there was more "out there" and his desire to find "life out there" had brought us together in this moment.

My snapshot of his life can hardly represent his culture and species. Nor can his snapshot of me living in downtown Manhattan accurately represent the totality of humanity. However, for me, what was perceived in that first glance into another culture on another world, was both familiar and different.

His surroundings were very much like the forest of Washington State: tall trees, lush and varied plant life, and foothills leading to mountains. His home was built into the hillside, blending in with the surroundings. If he had neighbors, they were not visible to me. It was inferred that there were communities and cities where people came together to learn, share knowledge, exchange goods, and so forth.

Their technologies had developed along different lines than ours. For example they had power and light, but I saw no electrical lines. They did have some means of transportation, but the vehicles were not powered by gasoline, or a combustible engine. I got the impression that the technologies of creating combustion out of chemicals, fuels, or the atom were never developed. They had found alternative ways for getting power from nature.

There was more integration with nature and the power and principles contained within nature. Their sciences allowed them to harness the power within nature without disrupting or destroying nature. As an example, in order for us to generate electricity we need to build a damn or a facility which powers the generators to create the electricity. Somehow they were able to draw upon that power without creating the intermediary step of a power plant.

This integration with nature seem to extend to their societies as a way of life. There was certainly a difference of opinion among them on many subjects, but it never resulted in the kind of conflicts that we experience here on earth, such as war. They never used the power within nature to develop weapons.

Their scientific studies of nature lead them to what we would call philosophical understandings. Within nature there is a cooperation and balance that is needed to maintain life. As a species they saw themselves as part of this nature, and they adopted that value into their interactions with each other. It simply would never occur to them to use the power within nature to blow each other up. This integration with nature was reflected in the way he lived. There was a calmness and depth to him which I liked.

In the few minutes this contact lasted, this mysterious means of communication gave us the ability to perceive and exchange many impressions and thoughts. By normal conventions, the amount we exchanged would have taken hours. Perhaps if it hadn't all been so new and fast, my one moment of fear wouldn't have broken our link. In that moment of fear, his hopes and work, and all that we could have shared and learned about each other was shattered. For the several following weeks, I tried to reestablish the connection, but to no avail. I've always regretted that moment of fear, and that we never got another chance.

I think our species are not so different in their desire for answers to the questions which that starry vault poses to us each night. Because of your life long efforts Solaren, I can say to you, you are not alone. I can confirm for you that I am here, residing upon a planet we call earth, in a galaxy we call the Milky Way. There is life "out there". Now, on earth, and on a distant planet light years away, when Solaren and I gaze into the infinite starry vault, we know we are not alone.

Notes from my dream journal, July 1977

Raymond Wolf, October 2003

The End