Several years ago I damaged my Achilles tendon. I was not able to walk, and a doctor recommended surgery if I ever wanted to recover the use of my tendon. Having been a dancer in my younger years, I knew I had not done any physical action which could have possibly caused such an injury. I was angry at spirit, life, creation, God, and all the various theories from reincarnation to a random chance universe, about why and how I can be subjugated to such disabilities and loss when I had not done anything wrong.

Over time, I realized I hate being vulnerable, and that I am not empowered enough to protect my vulnerability. Throughout our lifetimes we have endured suffering to one degree or another, and finally death. This has created a tremendous imprint in my consciousness, and one I react to with each new life. There is the desire for enough power to prevent injury to myself on any level, and the power to have my needs met. Subconsciously, power was my answer to vulnerability, and lots of it.

The following is God addressing my anger at him for being unempowered:

God Speaks

From God's perspective, "Another child who wants me to take care of them because their life is a mess. They always want to come home when they can't take it anymore. Then they blame Me for all the suffering in their lives and the world and want me to fix it. Really it is not up to me to make decisions for you. I gave you free will and your life is your responsibility.

"Now that doesn't mean that I don't love you. I do. I care a great deal about what happens to you. I provide you with every opportunity possible: all riches of the universe are there, but it is up to you what you do with them. And really, while I'm omnipotent, I really have enough to do without running every detail of your life. Believe it or not, I have a lot to do, and you are part of my responsibilities. But I hate it when you demand every moment of my attention like some spoiled brat who throws a tantrum every time things don't go your way. I am here for you. We both have responsibilities in creating what happens. Your blame goes something like this; Why are you punishing me? Why have you abandoned me? Why don't things turn out right when I try to be so good?

"I'm not responsible for your choices. You want to be god like and then you don't want any of the responsibility that goes with it. You want power and knowledge, and then you abuse everyone and everything with it. You don't take responsibility for what you do create with what I have given you, and then you want more power. For you feel if you had more power and control, you could bend the world to your desires. This is not in alignment with my plan and my laws. I am a loving God, and that means love for each of you. You can not keep abusing each other and expect me to further empower you. You hate me for this as a child who hates his parents for not giving him/her everything he/she wants when he/she want it. You need to learn to create responsibly, that will open the doors for further creativity and empowerment.

"You see the dilemma here? You hate me for not saving you, and not giving you more power to create your lives according to your desire. I'm annoyed with my creation for how it has turned out. It's like a piece of art that won't bend to my will. I don't totally like that analogy, for it implies that I am trying to control the out come of my creation. Rather, the outcome is a creative process that includes empowerment for all, and the pursuit of joy, liberty, and justice for all. Where have you heard those words before? A noble idea wouldn't you say, and one that has not been realized by your current civilization. (The image I was getting was like a piece of art that won't realize itself. You can sense the beauty within, but you can't get the form to bring it forth. For the form has free will, and each pixel or persona must realize itself as the divinity it is for the painting-creation to be totally realized).

"So we are still acting out child parent roles. It is time to evolve beyond those roles while still honoring our different rightful places. I am beyond your current level of consciousness, and you need to respect that, and at the same time you need to take responsibility for who you are, and realize the divinity of your being."

Next - The Quest for Power - Tigress Fruit

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