ACCESS CHANNELING NEWSLETTER

Volume Three, Number Two

Summber 2002

The God of Love & the god of Power, From the godchannel.com

Psalm from Heart of Mothers' Body, From the godchannel.com

Connecting Self with self, through Raymond Wolf

Gemini Eclipse of 2002, by Rick Riedel

The God of Love and the god of Power

"This is Heart, and I have some things to say about Spirit from where I live. Ever since my emergence I have had much confusion about God. I know that to the Mother, Spirit has sometimes seemed loving, sometimes distant, sometimes hurtful. Hard to predict.

"Since early in my understandings, I've known that Lucifer was the denied part of God who had been attacking the Mother, using her, twisting her. But the rest of God wasn't always there for her either. He often seemed to flee or keep his distance when she was in trouble.

"But lately my confusion about this has been lifting. I'm beginning to realize what's been making it seem to the Mother and me like God is two-faced.

"The confusion has been understandable, because there actually have been TWO Gods. And they have long been at odds with each other.

"Deeper than the level of form and duality, of course has always been a single Spirit who is Love. But the One Spirit, the Spirit of Love long ago denied himself. This caused a 'shadow' to emerge, a part of himself of whom he became unconscious.

"The shadow of Love is Power. Love first gave much of his Power to Lucifer. And then over time he denied the rest of his Power, handing it to Ahriman.

"Love, real Love feels much better than Power, yet most humans have chosen to worship the god of Power, not the God of Love. Praised from the pulpits and beseeched in the deepest prayers for relief from pain and oppression, the god of Power has been very popular.

"Power has constantly affirmed that he and only he is God. And he has been very successful at this, many beings have never even known that the God of Love exists.

"And for a while there, he almost didn't."

Guilt is not Love

"Although rarely having the power to actually do it, the God of Love has always known that Loving Light's highest purpose is in the service of Desire, in the service of the Mother. There once was also great Power in his Love, but the power caused him guilt.

"Long ago the God of Love denied his Power. He sensed that Power was unloving. He felt guilty that his Power could sometimes be limiting to others, so he relinquished it. He denied his power because he believed what guilt had told him.

"Now he knows what I have always known, that guilt's voice lies, that the voice of guilt is not the voice of real Love.

"The God of Love knows now that his guilt was the result of not measuring up to a predetermined standard or ideal.

"Loving Light had held for himself the standard of perfection, and then he judged that he was 'wrong' whenever he failed to meet perfection's test.

"Now he knows that ideals and even perfection itself are what have been 'wrong.'

"And he knows that the lie of guilt is in the assumption that the standards he judged himself against were 'right.' Perfection and other ideals do not evolve. Yet Creation and Deity by their very nature are ever moving and changing, becoming more, evolving.

"Real Love does not desire perfection or anything else, beyond simply what is.

"With Real Love it is only the beloved herself that is desired, just exactly as she is in the moment. Imperfections, warts, and all.

"This is why Desire will always choose Love over Power, when she truly has a choice.

"But the god of Power had assumed supremacy over Love because Desire had no choice. When she sought Light, she had to choose Power, because so many times Love was nowhere to be found, or seemed too weak to be of help. And so many times Power offered her what she felt she needed most, protection from what she feared.

"But now there is a choice, because now Loving Light, Loving Spirit is becoming easier to find. And he's trying to make himself even easier. Here in the middle, I know this is true, because I feel it happening more and more.

"The way to know that the Light is truly loving, however, was not immediately obvious to me. My first step in finding the Light of Loving God was to understand the differences in these two ways of Spirit, Love and Power. Love loves to serve Desire for their mutual pleasure. And Power loves to use her for more power.

"The most obvious way you can tell the difference is in their direction. Loving God moves toward the suffering and pain of tortured Desire, the Mother of Creation. Empowering god moves away from her, or else tries to bring her along, toward more Light.

"Loving God gathers up all the Light he is and moves toward the pain and darkness of the Mother, his one true love. This is my truly parental Spirit, this is the real love of my true Father.

"As more and more parental Desire awakens from the original shock inflicted by the exploding god of Power, more and more Real Love comes into manifestation as the union of Loving Light and Desire.

"As the Mother's Desire and Loving God's Light join in Heart, Love is born.

"Deep in the center of my presence I know that Love, Real Love is complete in itself, it requires nothing else. Only being is necessary. Power, however, has always required some kind of action, some kind of duty.

Loving God Loves the Mother's Fear

"Fear has been called the opposite of Love, but it is not really. Fear has however often been an enemy of Love, and the main reason that Desire has felt she's had to choose Power.

"Fearful Desire, terrified Desire has sought Power so that she may be safe.

"When she has opened, fearful Desire has opened to completely unloving Light, at worst Lucifer. Lucifer's kind of denied Light moves toward Desire with intention to hurt and abuse, manipulate and disempower. But with a voice like the voice of guilt, Lucifer's Light is easy to distinguish. His energy feels bad to Desire or makes her feel bad about herself. It is often manipulative, and becomes demanding if thwarted.

"And when she has opened to light that has felt good, most often it's been the light of Power, Ahriman. But empowering Light has been only temporarily satisfying to Desire, even to fearful Desire. Because the light of Power ultimately uses her for more power of his own. With this light her fear never moves, and her desire for power becomes like an addiction that only he can satisfy,on his terms.

"But now something new is happening. Recently the God of Love has been vying with the god of Power for the attention of fearful Desire.

"Loving God, parental Spirit without guilt knows that each wiggle and twitch of Desire is beautiful, no matter what unlovingness she may hold. And he loves her, just as she is, with whatever she is holding.

"Although now still 'weaker' than Power, Loving God loves unconditionally all expressions of manifestation, including fearful Desire, even though she may still sometimes avoid him.

"Fear opening to Love is something very new, but now that Love is reclaiming its Power in Creation, Loving God is available to her too. Now fearful Desire can more easily move with Love, and find the fulfillment and real healing she could never find with Power alone.

"Love is there for her now as she begins to awaken from the long nightmare of endless pain and terror."

Psalm from Heart of Mother's Body

Finally, it wasn't my prayer or meditation,

not fasting or practices or frowning concentration,

not spiritual exercise or breathing through my feet.

Finally, it was the way the sunlight fell upon the car seat that coaxed me to allow

you to enter in my eyes.

Normally so guarded, closed and shy,

my sudden invitation to you came as such surprise.

Yet there I found your loving

in the place behind my eyes.

Not knowing what I wanted to,

or might have liked to feel,

I let you catch me off my guard

behind the steering wheel.

It was your bright love-clouds I drew into my heart.

Informed by loving light, I felt myself a star,

an inverted triangle rising to invite

your pyramid of loving cascade,

kissing me with new sight.

Of my breast you made adoring pink desire.

I felt my joy-snake squirm around your tender fire.

Moving down, down into my stomach-heart,

down into my gut, gratefully,

lusciously opening at your loving touch.

Down, down, love opening my opening love,

out my opening place, down, joyously,

ecstatically through my legs into the ground.

I wanted to call it loving lust,

but that did not sound right

to describe your love-opening of me.

"Yes, yes" was not enough

to contain it most completely.

So I tried to say, "Oh, God"

but that was a title, too formal,

like 'Captain', and not the way I felt.

So I said, "You, you"

but that was too dividing, too split,

So I cried, "We, us, our!"

but even that didn't fit.

"Love, love" came closer

as I drank you without shame.

Your love-sun in my sky,

I found your secret name

(which means, that-close-to-me)

and blessed you, "I, I, I..."

From the God Channel

Connecting Self with self

through Raymond Wolf

Let us begin: rainbow colored lights spiraling through your system; cleansing, healing, restoring, the crystalline vibrancy of the true essence of that which you always have been, and that which you will continue to be.

The focus of meditation and other practices has been, how do I wish to say? to experience the essential you, the divine you, the you independent of all your external focusing outward into reality...to experience the inner reality which for all practical purposes is beneath or within and hidden from external consciousness. Learning to perceive from your waking "I" consciousness, the eternal divine "I" which you are. All are techniques for both experiencing and remembering your divinity, and for giving you very conscious tools for how you wish to create yourself within reality.

An analogy which crossed your mind is that of the tree and its branches. Branches make up the tree, and yet there is an identity of the wholeness of the tree which a branch is not. If one does not infer judgment between the soul and the waking personality, seeing one as better than the other, but merely sees it as essence and being in relationship, then one has a more accurate representation and knowledge of who and what you are, and what is being created in your world, and an understanding of the relationship between your Self (tree) and your many expressions as a human being (branches).

It is the essential experiencing of your divinity which we are hoping to make a central experiential knowingness. For you to remember and embody that here. From that connection all else can flow forth. The decisions that you make, the choices, the directions, the activities, can all stem or radiate out from the conscious dialog of you as a personality with your divinity. That would be one level of your manifesting your divinity here.

This outer you and this inner you can be in conscious relationship. And as that bond, communication, or doorway is opened and there is a conscious connection, what flows out as your life, can radiate or stem from that union. What I wish to avoid saying is that you as a personality will have no choice...that you will simply give your exterior identity over to this inner being which you also are. There is a fusion and there is also a complete respect for your own individual will as you understand that, and also your own individual will will continue to transform.

In other words, that which you think may be your heart's desire will continue to change, and it will not just change from one object to another object in the way that current personalities tend to identify their desire and will. Rather, you discover and uncover your hidden motives, that which truly brings you joy. That is not to say careers and mates, all these things which are important in your lives, will not continue to be a source of joy.

Lets use an analogy. From a personality point of view what you may desire is a new car. However, you may look deeper and understand what the car symbolizes for you on an inner level. Perhaps it is something new in your life. Perhaps it is the desire to move faster or be more enlivened physically. Perhaps it is for a certain amount of ease or luxury in your life. Something that makes you feel vital and alive.

Now this may actually be a car, or it may be something else. It is that something else which you may become more aware of, what that car symbolizes. Then you may choose to pursue those undercurrents for the motivation of the car, rather than the car itself. You will find that your level of satisfaction, enjoyment, and enlivenment is actually fulfilled, rather than buying the car and two months down the road you desire something else, for the car wasn't really it. The longing is still there.

This is the kind of internal awareness and wisdom which is available for each and every one of you. That is one level of it. The other level that would be of such benefit at this time, would be in relationship to healing. Discovering why that which "doesn't work" in your life is being manifested. This is, shall we say, at least in part at the heart and core of your work, to heal as beings.

Having compassion for the suffering both of yourselves and all others is important, and understanding what the suffering of others holds for you as a reflection, or as an embodiment for you. What has been projected out? For truly, as long as there is suffering by anyone or anything, there is some part of you that is not completely healed. For in that way, we are all one. This is not to negate your uniqueness as a being, your individuation or the individuation process, but rather is simply part of the mirroring and the connectedness of all creation. This is where the deep work within our own psyche is taking place.

Pain unfortunately has a multidimensional expression. No one enjoys the experiencing of pain. There is always blame or guilt associated with that which is painful. If you are sick you may blame your body, or you may blame someone else for having the flu and being in your environment and then catching it. Or guilt: what did I do to deserve this? Then there may be resentment and hatred against the body for holding pain or giving you the experience of pain. Once again, as difficult a way as pain is for us to learn, the pain reflects pain on another level of your psyche, of your beingness. This is not to blame other levels of your being, or you on any level. It is owning, and in that owning taking steps to heal yourself.

It is hard to see pain as a gift. It certainly never felt (or feels) like that to Raymond, and yet, perhaps in a similar way that you deal with experiencing difficult emotions, you have the opportunity to delve into what that pain may be holding for you. What is being reflected for you? What is it an expression of? These can all be steps in your healing, in your understanding.

It is not an intellectual exercise alone. There is fear and anger. There are the feelings of the child. It is not easy for you as adults to honor and care for the vulnerability of your beingness. There is a tendency to want to think that you are grown up, and that those feelings and thoughts of vulnerability belong to another stage of your life. Shall we say there are multiple levels of experiencing your vulnerability which may feel child like, but are in relationship to very powerful grown up issues. For example you relationship to Source, creation, life and death, empowerment and unempowerment. These themes have a full spectrum of related issues that are uniquely expressed through each phase of your entire life. (As an example: life and death to the child may be getting the latest coolest toy, to the adult issues concerning money, and to the elderly passing on).

Coming back to our earlier connection of the outer personality with Self, this relationship can help you find these connections, these multiple layers of an issue. This connection can help you see the underlying beliefs, feelings, and motivations which may be the foundation for aspects of your being in your exterior waking world.

Finding expression through all four of your bodies; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual on any given topic or issue which you wish to explore is an excellent inroad. How does it feel in your body ? Giving emotional expression to it. Delving into it mentally through beliefs. Then, using other various means: your intuition, guided meditation, etc., discovering what else you can know and understand about the multiple layers of it. All these bodies contribute to your healing.

So there is a spectrum, from the pain which is unpleasurable or that which is unpleasant in your life, to that which brings you joy in your life. Being human is no simple expression of beingness. Having all four parts, that of body, that of feeling, that of mentality, and that of spirit all in one place is a divine gift. One full of hope. One full of miracles. Now it is our task to create that miracle, here, now. The miracle that each of you are, here on this golden blue jewel of the solar system and divine Mother energy.

Channeling edited for publication May 2002

The Gemini Eclipse of 2002 by Rick Riedel

A total eclipse of the Sun is one of the most stunning astronomical events observable from Earth's surface. Requiring no special equipment, being present along the path of totality transforms an ordinary day into an other-worldly experience. The astrological impact of an eclipse is just as powerful on all levels as the impression made when observing the physical event. The coming eclipse of June 10, 2002 looms as a pivotal point in world politics and personal lives.

When the Sun and Moon are together in the sky they are "conjunct". This is a low-energy time or time of renewal, a "New Moon". As the Moon moves slowly away from the Sun, it appears larger each evening until a Full Moon two weeks later (a fortnight). Another fortnight after the full, we are back to another New Moon, but one astrological sign advanced from the previous New Moon. The Sun represents our conscious awareness, and the Moon the subconscious. Their fluctuation is like a child on a swing. An adult pushes at the point of minimum movement (New Moon) imparting momentum that takes the child to the peak of the swing (Full Moon). The swing then returns to the starting point to get another push. The cycle repeats evenly until we have an eclipse, at which time the adult gives an especially strong push.

The resultant extension of height at the peak of the swing is analogous to the eclipsed Full Moon that follows a solar eclipse at the New Moon phase of the cycle. Eclipses mark big pushes in people's lives. Depending on proximity to natal planets, eclipse times will be remembered years later as a critical turning point. The upcoming solar eclipse is on June 10, 2002 at 19 degrees Gemini 54 minutes. Anyone born within 5 days of June 10, or the opposite time of December 5-15 in any year can expect a big push on the cosmic swing. Sometimes it's a thrilling ride, and sometimes it's a boost over the top with a subsequent crash to the ground.

Eclipses occur in a very regular pattern called the Saros cycle. They occur at approximately the same degree every 19 years, so the eclipse of June 11, 1983 was at 19 Gemini 43 minutes, and the eclipse of June 10, 1964 was at 19

Gemini 19 minutes. If the upcoming eclipse is close to your birthday on June 10 or really, on the 10th of any month, think back to 1983 or 1964 and see if you can recall what happened then. The same energies will be returning on a higher turn of the spiral for you.

As the medieval astrologers observed, eclipses have a strong impact on recognized leaders and those in power or authority. The symbology is obvious with the Sun (authority) being eclipsed or covered up (Moon) by matter of their own mortality or confinement by matter. Prominent leaders nowadays are also easy to observe, what with legions of reporters following them around and writing about them, so our current president makes an easy subject for study. Although he is a Cancer, George W. will find the eclipse happening almost exactly on his 11th house (public image) Uranus (sudden upsets and changes). There may be a sudden fall from grace. Remember it takes a year or two for the eclipse effect to fully manifest itself. In George's chart, Uranus is the ruler of his 7th house (close relationships), which holds Neptune (deception) by transit, exactly conjunct his Ceres in Aquarius. Perhaps some of his closest associates are not what he thought them to be, and this will become known in a difficult way. With his progressed Mars square his natal Sun, George is in a war-like mood. However, the eclipse in Gemini finds Saturn conjunct to Mars in the chart for the U.S. Constitution, so any acts of force will not be fruitful. In any case, he is in for a couple of rough years.

This eclipse is unusual in that it is within one degree of the planet Saturn. History has shown this to have a "heavier" effect than were Saturn to be elsewhere at the time. The last four eclipses within a 5 degree orb of Saturn have all heralded a crises. The 1991 eclipse in Capricorn fell on the opening day of Desert Storm. Incidentally, this eclipse was exactly opposite of George W's natal Saturn. Even family karma is hard to escape. In 1956, the eclipse in Sagittarius coincided with the failed Hungarian revolt from Russia. The 1950 eclipse in Virgo fell on the Suns of the Koreas as North invaded South. The Cancer eclipse of 1945 marked the ending of WW II but the beginning of the Cold War. The current eclipse will no doubt be remembered for the war on terrorism. The fact that Saturn and Pluto are opposite adds another level of intensity and social import that only time will elucidate for us.

World politics is fun to observe, but our immediate task is with ourselves and our interactions with those closest to us. We can look at the eclipse from a mundane, personality-oriented view or from a more esoteric, soul-oriented position. neither case, typically not much happens the day of the eclipse, but use your third-eye perspective to watch whatever omens and signs the universe presents to you that day. A flock of birds may catch your eye, or a little scene enacted by children outside your window. Use your intuition without overreaching for hidden meanings. I remember an eclipse on my own Sun several years ago. I found myself at the bank, face to face with a lending officer, discussing the terms of a loan to be used to remodel our 90 year old home. Needless to say, I spent the next 18 months enduring the stress of a total remodel. The results were worth it, however, and the comforts of an updated home were well worth the effort.

The classical techniques when dealing with an eclipse is to watch for days when transiting planets go by the eclipsed spot. These days bring a manifestation of the eclipse energy. Of most interest at this time will be Saturn's transit, which is on June 20. Also of significance is to notice how much of the eclipse is visible in your location. It will be 75% total in the American Southwest, and 50% in the Northwest. The line of totality goes almost completely over the open Pacific Ocean, from the eastern edge of Malaysia to Mexico's Western coast at Guadalajara. Perhaps the net effect will be another El Nino. In any case, the effect of the eclipse is heightened where it is visible. Being in an area where the eclipse is even partially visible heightens its effect of the people in its path. As an example, there was an eclipse on February 26, 1979 that was total over southwestern Washington at 7 degrees of Pisces. On May 8, 1980, there was a Moon/Mars opposition on this same spot. Mt. St. Helens erupted that day, scattering ashes along the path of eclipse totality.

From an esoteric perspective, the sign Gemini is ruled by Venus for those at the disciplic level and by Earth at the hierarchical or teaching level. The mundane ruler is Mercury, working through Ray 4 or Harmony Through Conflict. The struggle continues on the personality level with reconciliation of opposites and learning by trial-and-error, the keynote throughout the effective period of influence from this eclipse. For the aspiring disciple, Venus works through Ray 5 or the Ray of Scientific Knowledge. Through Alice A. Bailey, the Master Djwhal Kuhl says: "Gemini - I recognize my other self and in the waning of that self I grow and glow." (Esoteric Astrology p. 654). This implies the recognition of the duality we all carry within us: the personality and the soul. By recognizing the ego for what it is, it becomes easier to recognize and respond to soul influence. Then, the personality can be utilized as a tool of the soul, accomplishing the goals of the soul through right relations with others who inhabit this physical world. This eclipse marks a new impetus towards increased growth and clarity in the area of communicating with those around us.

At the hierarchical or teaching level, Gemini is ruled by Earth, our plane of existence. Working through Ray 3, Active Intelligence. This is the challenge of reconciling the basic duality of Spirit and Matter. Their intertwining is really what defines our place of existence here on Earth, the stage whereon the dramas of mundane life play out so that the soul can develop depth of character and wisdom that comes only from experience.

At all three levels, the Gemini eclipse energy occurs primarily in and on the mind. This is the active mental process that distinguishes humanity from the mineral, plant and animal kingdoms that cohabitate our planet with us. Be it printed or electronic media, conversation or telepathic connection with Nature, mental energy is at a heightened level.

In order to maximize the positive potential of the eclipse as it occurs, we can get a clue from the Master DK when he says: "It will be obvious to you also how the symbolism of an eclipse will come into your mind, for when the merging is complete, humanity and the Hierarchy will be one; there will be no outer or inner and no middle chamber, but only complete unity." (Discipleship in the New Age, Volume II, p. 610). A new Moon eclipse such as the one on June 10 is an unparalleled opportunity for deep meditation; meditation that can connect our conscious mind to the hierarchy of spiritual beings that are all around us via our own souls.

At all levels, we're in for a big push from the cosmos. Where this push takes us and what effect it has depends ultimately on the decisions we make. Like warmth and light from the Sun, we can use this energy infusion as we see fit.

Peace & Joy