victis honor [translation]

It's been far too long since I've quoted some Kim Stanley Robinson. How about this one:

Only a few people in this world were lucky enough to run into their true partners--it took outrageous luck for it to happen, then the sense to recognize it, and the courage to act. Few could be expected to have all that, and then to have things go well. The rest had to make do.

-- Blue Mars

Last updated by eric Mon Dec 29 01:54 2003 | word | link

vir sapit qui pauca loquitur [translation]

As a holiday gift for 2003, I offer you my full archives of this year's writings: here.

For anything pre-2003, go here.

Last updated by eric Wed Dec 24 11:50 2003 | thought | link

mandamus [translation]

Ahh, finally. Let's hope there are plenty of cat jokes, eh?

Last updated by eric Tue Dec 23 10:33 2003 | deed | link

beatae memoriae [translation]

This Slate article kinda misses the point:

When I recently played the Midway Arcade Treasures collection, what intrigued me most were the commentary tracks by the games' creators, who moaned and complained about how hard it was to craft a game using those old 1970s microprocessors. The guys who wrote Pac-Man or Dig Dug couldn't hide behind cutting-edge graphics of exit wounds, so they actually had to focus on making the thing fun. No wonder everyone's turning back to retro hits like Space Invaders.

I think.

Last updated by eric Mon Dec 22 11:10 2003 | omission | link

fiat voluntas Tua [translation]

I've been sick lately. Cough, cough.

So sick, in fact, that I decided it was time to install Panther. I like many of its fancy new features, and it's got a lot of obvious things that were missing from previous releases (such as password locking for screen savers and sleep mode), but still has some of the problems that have bugged me for a while.

The main one that's annoyed me was exacerbated by the necessity of clearing disk space to accomodate the fancy new developer toys in Panther. I had to delete the never-used Netscape, and then when trying to access an FTP link via Safari, it tried calling up Netscape. Silly Safari!

So I go hunting in System Preferences for the fix. Then I check file associations. Then I hunt through Help. I try Safari's preferences. No luck.

Finally I resort to a Google search and find this page, which solves the problem for me. Odd how Microsoft announced back in June 2003 that IE would no longer be developed for Mac OS X, yet an integral part of the system configuration is dependent on IE (or editing an XML file, though I'm not sure most Mac users would want to muck about thusly). Even odder is how Apple's website seems to contradict Microsoft's lack of enthusiasm for continued development of IE for OS X.

At any rate, at least that problem seems to be fixed now. Other upgrade headaches with the system were minor:

• I'm running out of room on my iBook--stripping out everything but the "basic" software leaves me with less than a Gigabyte of hard drive space. My Cube is faring a little better, but it could probably use a HD upgrade sometime soon, too.
• Every time I upgrade OS X, I have to go through and reselect various color options, and it always takes me a while to get used to the new colors. I'm not sure why this is, though in Panther it's mostly because the Desktop filename highlighting is cutesy rounded on the ends now.
• The graphical CPU Monitor from 10.2 is replaced with a fancier Activity Monitor, which means I had to hunt around to replace it properly in my Taskbar (a minor annoyance, but it stands out). Now if only I could figure out how to change the colors it uses.
• I had to remind the system to use 24-hour formatting on the system clock. Lame.
• While installing, the entire installation ground to a halt when it couldn't update iTunes. I tried again (taking iTunes out of the upgrade options), and it worked fine. I went back and tried installing iTunes, and it had the same problem. I consulted the error messages and found that it was a problem in /Library/Receipts/iTunes.pkg -- apparently my Cube had used a waaaaaaay older version of iTunes at one point, and the installer couldn't handle something in there. So I mv'd that directory to a .bak version and tried again; finally the installer figured out that I had a newer version of iTunes already installed, so it did nothing.

• I finally figured out how to use my Cube as an AirPort base station (not sure if this was possible before, but it was definitely easier in this version, but then I wouldn't have to worry about this at all if an AirPort Extreme firmware update hadn't completely hoerked my non-Extreme AirPort basestation).
• gcc and g++ are included with the Developer Tools (again, not sure if they were available before, but including Developer Tools in the box is nice).
• pico is included in the Developer Tools! (Hmm, too many of these items are just gushing about Developer Tools inclusions.)
• Preview now supports text searches! No more need for Acrobat at all (though that worries me since Adobe's a local employer--I guess they'll still get a little business from Windows users).
• X11 comes standard! Well, sorta--I had to go back and reinstall it when I noticed that it isn't installed by default (why not??), and the previous 10.2 version of X11 doesn't work under 10.3.
• Exposé looks way cool, though I still haven't gotten into the habit of actively using it.
• The fast user switching is great, makes me almost wish I was sharing my computer with other people. Almost.
• FileVault is spiffy but takes up a LOT of diskspace if you use it to encrypt all your mp3's.
• "Secure Empty Trash" -- finally something to truly get rid of that incriminating evidence you people have lurking on your HD.
• Mail allows me to view images now, but doesn't load them by default. How cool is that? (Hint: It's pretty damn cool.)

Last updated by eric Sat Dec 20 12:04 2003 | deed | link

quomodo vales? [translation]

If I can be feckless, why can't I be feckful?

Last updated by eric Mon Dec 15 09:58 2003 | word | link

res publica [translation]

I seem to have lost track of how I got there--some website somewhere referred me to a page about the publication of a Robert Heinlein book based on the Social Credit notion, which made me curious as to what the heck is "Social Credit". Apparently it's popular in Canada, which piqued my interest all the more.

So I checked Google and found this page, which has some interesting points:

• When people are paid to make capital assets and machinery with wages that come from a bank loan rather than from their personal savings, an increased amount of money becomes available to buy a supply of consumer goods that has not increased at all. "Too much money chases too few goods", and prices rise. We have Inflation.
• After the new capital assets and machinery have been installed, the manufacturer has to try to get back the cost of his machinery through prices, in order to repay his bank loan. When this happens, we have "Too little money" to pay realistic prices for the goods being marketed for sale. People are receiving "A" on each payday, and businessmen are charging prices of "A plus B". That price can't be paid UNLESS -
  • People go into debt, by buying on time, or
  • Governments borrow and increase the National Debt, or
  • Business borrows more bank credit to finance expansion, or
  • Businesses sell below cost, and go bankrupt, or
  • We win a trade war, putting foreigners in debt to us for our surplus of exports, or (if they can't or won't pay)
  • We have a war, "exporting" goods such as tanks and bombs to the enemy without ever expecting to be paid for them, and financing this by government borrowing.

If none of the above things is done, businesses are forced to lay off workers, unemployment rises, the economy stagnates, taxes go unpaid, Governments cut back services, and we have widespread POVERTY, when physically all of us could be living in PLENTY. People become restive and demoralized, not realizing that their failure is not necessarily the result of their idleness or lack of skill, but rather of the way "the system" operates.

"Systems were made for men, and not men for systems, and the interest of man, which is self-development, is above all systems, whether theological, political or economic...

"We must build up from the individual, not down from the State".

(C.H.Douglas, Economic Democracy. (1920) pp. 6,7)

I like this idea a lot, but am bothered that I can't find any glaring problems in it, even minor ones. I must be losing my touch.

Still, it bugs the heck out of me when people talk of "democracy" when they're really talking about representative democracy, or a "republic".

So I guess there's always that.

Last updated by eric Sat Dec 13 10:58 2003 | thought | link

crescit eundo [translation]

Article via Boing Boing about how Dean isn't really part of the Democratic Party (which makes me want to vote for him). Excerpt:

The ability to have "virtual political parties" is the greatest challenge the two parties have ever faced. There are strategies available to them, of course -- deft positioning allows them to preempt competitors, as it does in every industry, and they can use the same technology, although Internet culture doesn't seem readily amenable to either Democrat.com or Republican.com. Being a Democrat or a Republican isn't enough of an advantage anymore -- there are simply too many other places where people can get political information and find political bedfellows in an age of low information costs.

The real question is whether -- really, how -- the two parties, like any other waning duopoly, will use non-market means to preserve their fading power -- by, for example, keeping third-party candidates out of televised debates, making it harder for other parties to get public funding or closing off "open" primaries that invite marauding forms of political organization.

I think I'm curious enough to want to find out that answer the hard way.

Last updated by eric Sat Dec 13 10:05 2003 | thought | link

quid faciendum? [translation]

Via C...wait, not C. Didn't I assign "C" to someone else? No, actually, I think this is the original C. So, via C, an article about the prevalence of "nerds" in modern society:

Could it be that there are more nerds today than there were before? If so, shouldn't we attempt to make friends with them sharp-ish, before they start bludgeoning us with plastic light-sabres or introducing viruses into our PCs?

Last updated by eric Fri Dec 12 11:59 2003 | thought | link

lex loci [translation]

It's interesting how not getting enough sleep and spending less time with a full internet connection will make one less likely to update one's weblog.

Jury duty is done for me; since it was a misdemeanor court, the longest time they have you serve is about six days. Mine ended up being four days since we had to come in on Friday for deliberations.

I'm allowed to talk about the case now, but I still have very mixed feelings about the results, so I shan't go into details for some time.

Instead, please avail yourself of Matthew Baldwin's fine summary of his 2002 tangle with jury service. And my own humble thanks to him for providing a well-formatted page with all the entries.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go answer all the email I've fallen way behind on.

Last updated by eric Thu Dec 11 17:13 2003 | omission | link

Deo gratias [translation]

Thanks to Armored Personal Vehicle for the altered black "powered by" image in the upper left. I shall certainly receive no greater gift this year, especially if I can keep my friends from figuring out what my birthday is. If I let them know, then they'll treat me differently on that day, and then my potlatch gene will kick in and I'll have to treat them better the next year, and then it'll just escalate until I'm deep in debt from all the strippers I've had to hire.

So please, if you're smart enough to figure out my birthdate, just keep it to a best-wishes kinda thing, okay? Please? Thanks.

Last updated by eric Mon Dec 01 10:36 2003 | omission | link

quare impedit? [translation]

Today was jury duty day.

I got out of bed really early. Early enough to make my back ache.

Then I got to the Seattle Municipal Court too early. Apparently they don't open the doors for the commoners until 8am. So I stood outside in the cold until they did.

I got past the metal detector with nary a beep.

Then the wait began.

The new facilities at the Municipal Court are pretty snazzy--some good artwork on the walls, including a piece consisting of several dozen digital wristwatches that were all set to the same time when the piece was assembled, and now have all wandered off into their own unique timezones. Inside are some of the ubiquitous blown glass that the Pacific Northwest seems to feel are emblematic of the region. And one of the original thirteen-stars American flags. Nice chairs, decent little snack area, a "quiet room", and because it's on the top floor of the twelve-story building, a nice little courtyard outside (though smokers are required to go all the way down to ground floor outside if they want to whiff their glorious fumage).

We watch the famous Raymond Burr video that everyone mentions; I chortle at only one point when Burr speaks of the hectic lives we live in the twentieth century. Otherwise the video only serves to annoy me--I'm trying to genuinely attend to my jury service with a true heart, and the entire thing speaks down to me as if I don't understand the valuable rights I'm helping uphold, and asks me to please bear with the system since they understand how incredibly tedious it all is.

Good thing they didn't have me producing the thing, I'd be telling everybody to shut the hell up and do the right thing, the bunch of pansy commie dingbats. But I didn't, so nobody heard that but me.

I run into a former co-worker from my Company days and we catch up on what everybody's been up to. Turns out he's the Executive Director for a local non-profit, and I've been thinking lately that I want to get into non-profit work, so I quiz him incessantly on the topic, getting all sorts of good information about the ins and outs of that sort of business. His cellphone summons him away momentarily, so I finish reading the old article about alternative automotive fuel sources, then go check out the quiet room, where all the computer stuff is.

One thing I almost missed on the jury summons was the fact that they supply network connections for anyone who wants to bring a laptop. I didn't feel like wrassling with the metal detectors and all, so I didn't bring mine today, but they also have Web access available, so I was at least able to check my email (though the line for the terminal kept me from actually answering any, which I'm way behind on). Nobody who brought a laptop was able to get the network connection to work; I spoke to the woman sitting next to me and mentioned the phrase "crossover cable", which causes her to blank out for a second and then nod vaguely. I notice she's got a VPN chit like a Washington Mutual friend showed me the other day, so I wonder if she's WaMu as well. But I don't ask, don't want to sound like the little hacker boy I always want to be.

I go back out and try to read my novel, but the lack of sleep is catching up to me, so I nap briefly. I awaken when someone starts announcing that all the cases being tried this week won't require any jurors, so we're all being dismissed for the week.

This bothers me. I wanted to serve on a jury now, when I have the free time, dangit! So I volunteer to come back next week as well, completely forgetting my Celestine Prophecy-based notions of trusting whatever Fate throws my way as indicative of what path I should follow next. Fate tries to prevent my service next week by giving me a clerk who isn't at all sure how to go about processing someone volunteering for duty (apparently this never happens?), but she eventually figures it out, and Fate sticks out its tongue at me.

While waiting for her to figure it out, though, I overhear the Powerbook guy talking about how great it'd be if they had a wireless network in here, and he starts trying to explain how they'd set it up. But this is the same guy who wasn't prepared with both crossover and non-crossover network cabling for his laptop, so I wonder how reliable his advice is.

The clerk talking about the wireless comments how she's been tasked with researching the possibility of wireless access for the waiting room, but she doesn't know the first thing about it. This warms my heart somewhat, since apparently I still know stuff that might be useful in the job market.

So I have tomorrow of for the release of the new Heroclix set, which is vastly happy-making. And I have the afternoon off today to nap some more. Which is also good.

Oh, and I did figure out where people put their coats. There was a little sign that said "Coatroom". I figure that observation is worth points toward my Scooby-Doo Mysteries/Clue Club card.

Last thing I did before leaving was to go out on the terrace, walk up to the edge, and try to not freak out when I looked over the side to see the sidewalk twelve stories below. Nice view, though--can almost see my cubicle where I used to work at the Company.

Last updated by eric Tue Nov 25 23:49 2003 | thought | link

versus [translation]

This week I have the honor of serving my community by answering a jury summons sent to me a while back.

Mainly this means that I need to get up waaaaaaay earlier than I have been for the past, oh, five years, so I need to go to bed earlier than I'm used to, and get used to getting up before the Sun even thinks it's a reasonable rising hour.

With that in mind, I'd like to point out that I'm five minutes away from tomorrow as I type this. If you catch my drift. Well, even if you don't catch my drift, I'm still up "hella" late (as the kids say these days--that "hella" thing seems quite popular).

So, instead of sleeping in preparation for jury duty, I'm reading what other Seattleites have to say about it. So far I've found Matthew Baldwin's version of events (finely composed, as always, but difficult for me to read in that format, so I'm mostly reading the version here instead, though I'm having some slight trouble finding later entries), as well as the good Mr. Morrow's take on it.

Thing is, they both seem to have reported to different places than I, so perhaps I will have a fresh take on things. Expect me to report on fine and glorious things such as, "This room is nothing like what I expected, mainly because people were describing other rooms in other buildings," or perhaps, "And then I finally figured out where people put their coats and backpacks when they're sitting in a jurybox."

The excitement is non-stop here, people. Don't you forget it none.

Oh, and if I'm not updating much here this week, it's because of jury duty and spending time with friends and family for the holidays. (No, Mom, I'm not surprising you by flying out there for Thanksgiving, what, do you think I'm made of money or something? Sheesh.)

Last updated by eric Mon Nov 24 00:04 2003 | deed | link

raram facit misturam cum sapientia forma [translation]

I admit it, I can't stop reading "Newsradio" quotes like this one:

Lisa: All right, look, I did not ask for the stupid award.
Beth: If I were you I'd be upset too. I mean you? Cute? Come on.
Lisa: I am not entirely uncute. I... I... Why are you being nasty about this?
Beth: I'm not being nasty. You're pretty. You're very pretty in fact. But cute, I don't think so.
Lisa: Well, I wasn't aware there was a difference.
Beth: Well of course there is a difference. Pretty means pretty. Cute means pretty but short and/or hyperactive--like me!
Lisa: Uh huh. What is beautiful?
Beth: Beautiful means pretty and tall.
Lisa: Gorgeous?
Beth: Pretty with great hair.
Lisa: Striking?
Beth: Pretty with a big nose.
Lisa: OK, you're making this up.
Beth: That's ridiculous, why would I make it up?
Lisa: Voluptuous?
Beth: Pretty and fat.
Lisa: Sexy?
Beth: Pretty and easy.
Lisa: Exotic?
Beth: Ugly.

Last updated by eric Sat Nov 22 01:21 2003 | omission | link

In Excelsis Deo [translation]

Today I received my copy of "The West Wing" - The Complete First Season, so don't be too surprised if you don't see updates here for a while.

Recently I was wondering exactly how I'd gotten addicted to "The West Wing". I couldn't remember the catalyst that did it for me, but then saw the special 9/11 episode they did, Isaac and Ishmael. When Stockard Channing comes on at the end of the episode, it hit me--several weeks earlier I'd been flipping through channels and was surprised to see one of my favorite actors talking to a bunch of schoolkids in some sort of drama. So it was Stockard Channing's appearance in the last 5-10 minutes of that episode that got me hooked, and I've been catching up ever since.

I'm surprised that I never watched the show before--I've been a fan of Aaron Sorkin's work ever since Sports Night, but for some reason just never watched "The West Wing" before, even though it didn't conflict with "Smallville" last season.

But I'm addicted now. Now if I could just remember which episode got me hooked on Gilmore Girls. I definitely remember flipping through channels and noticing Lauren Graham. I'd adored her character on Newsradio way back when, so it was easy to get hooked on "Gilmore Girls" as well. And now that one of my other favorite actors is playing her love interest on the show, I'm trebly hooked.

Last updated by eric Fri Nov 21 12:03 2003 | deed | link

in pace, ut sapiens, aptarit idonea bello [translation]

An article in today's Salon.com featuring an email interview with Berkeley Breathed of "Bloom County" and "Outland" fame.

> What is it you most love about the medium of the comic strip?

If the "Opus" comic strip were instead a movie, for instance, I'd have to send a memo to Bob Weinstein (when I knew he was having a good morning and enjoying his eggs) and ask if he wouldn't mind me drawing a panel where his ass falls off while flossing too vigorously. Opus' ass, not Bob's. Later, I'd have to follow up with a budget adjustment requesting the funds for drawing the ass falling off. Later we'd have to cut the scene after two 14-year-old boys in Dubuque wearing pants well below their own ass wrote on their test-screening response card that the butt scene sucked.

I love comic strips because I can skip the above.

But then, coincidentally, I actually am making "Opus" into a movie right now. And I should add here that I hope Bob Weinstein understands that I'm just having a little fun and that I honestly think of him like a father.

Yeah, probably not. But still.

Last updated by eric Thu Nov 20 12:11 2003 | thought | link

albae gallinae filius [translation]

Finished reading Number9Dream for the book club meeting yesterday, but had to share this passage:

I emerge into a library-study with the highest book-population density I have ever seen in my life. Book walls, book towers, book avenues, book sidestreets. Book spillages, book rubble. Paperback books, hardcover books, atlases, manuals, almanacs. Nine lifetimes of books. Enough boks to build an igloo to hide in, and then to hide the igloo. The room is sentient with books. Mirrors double and cube the books. A Great Wall of China quantity of books. Enough books to make me wonder if I am a book too.

Last updated by eric Wed Nov 19 10:14 2003 | word | link

semel insanivimus omnes [translation]

Sweeeet. A Trekkies sequel! (Via BBspot.)

Last updated by eric Tue Nov 18 08:20 2003 | omission | link

ultima forsan [translation]

A Wired article with pretty much the same details as the story I mentioned yesterday reminds me of one small thing: though I'm incredibly overzealously big on the idea of conservation and ecologically sound living methods, Redford's quote in the articles seems oddly ignorant. I'm not sure what he was getting at with it:

Redford, a longtime environmental activist born and raised in Santa Monica, said the building symbolized a step forward for the conservation movement, which he said had been dealt setbacks by the Bush administration.

"We are now suffering through an administration that has, in a very calculating way, set out to undermine and destroy 30 years of hard work," he said.

"There's never been a time in my life when I've felt so challenged as a country, so challenged on the environment, as we are now."

I'm not sure I agree with this notion, but I can see the logic behind it--instead of trusting the distant federal government to properly legislate for the vagaries and varieties of environmental requirements for the entire nation, simply trust it to local authorities, and above all trust businesses to realize that sound ecological behaviors are in their own best interests. A company can spin their green actions into good PR, earn the respect of potential employees who see the ecological efforts of the company as an investment in the community, thus creating a stronger business overall.

Sure, maybe this won't ever happen because most companies are exporting labor overseas to save money, and any smaller companies that arise to take advantage of the excess labor in the United States will not likely focus on ecological concerns since there's a stronger incentive for fast growth due to the lack of support for smaller businesses in the United States. Fast growth might as well just be called "ecologically unsound growth".

Even if it's not likely to happen due to every level of government pandering to megacorporate interests, I think many Republicans still believe that it's the best way, if only they could get rid of those pesky liberals and implement their full agenda, thus ensuring that their Good Works aren't undercut by stupid social programs that hurt us more than they help us. But I digress.

My point is, if Republicans believe it's the responsibility of the individual and their locality to develop sound ecologies, isn't Redford just proving their point by putting his hard-earned funds into a project trying to demonstrate the feasibility of ecologically sound design? He's basically standing up and shouting out: "Hey Republicans, see this? If you keep cutting environmental legislation in this country, eventually insanely successful businessmen will start funding such programs and efforts out of their own pockets!"

Wouldn't the Republican answer simply be, "I certainly hope they will"?

Last updated by eric Sun Nov 16 11:04 2003 | thought | link

veni, vidi, vici [translation]

Wal-Mart creeps me out a bunch. I can't remember seeing a Wal-Mart storefront any time in the past six years I've lived in Seattle (for some reason Wal-Mart has no presence within Seattle city limits), so I never really think of Wal-Mart when it comes to retail.

Apparently many others have vastly different experiences than I, though: via BoingBoing, an article about the shocking behemoth and its startling impact on the American economy. I'm glad to see people are putting the low prices to good use:

They'd eat a quarter of a [gallon] jar [of pickles] and throw the [rest] away when they got moldy. A family can't eat them fast enough.

So what you'll ideally start to see in the United States is more families combining resources, sharing households and supplies. Cohousing becomes vastly more attractive as an incredibly sustainable way of life. With fewer funds dumped into perished goods, families can afford other vital commodities like housing, healthcare, and offspring. And fancy houses like Robert Redford's.

Yeah, I know, it's unlikely. But I can hope. Because if we don't do something, as the article points out, we're pushing ourselves in two different directions, and eventually something's going to snap:

Wal-Mart has also lulled shoppers into ignoring the difference between the price of something and the cost. Its unending focus on price underscores something that Americans are only starting to realize about globalization: Ever-cheaper prices have consequences. Says Steve Dobbins, president of thread maker Carolina Mills: "We want clean air, clear water, good living conditions, the best health care in the world--yet we aren't willing to pay for anything manufactured under those restrictions."

Last updated by eric Sat Nov 15 12:03 2003 | thought | link

lares et penates [translation]

What a strange country I live in: people are named after the brands their parents aspire to, and brands are named after people.

Last updated by eric Fri Nov 14 11:40 2003 | deed | link

multi sunt vocati, pauci vero electi [translation]

Lately I've been thinking that I need to learn a musical instrument; somewhere along the way I've picked up the notion that the banjo is the perfect instrument for me to learn since it's a lot like a harpsichord, but nowhere near as difficult to schlep down into my apartment.

I mention this only because an article in The New Yorker reminds me of banjos, Deliverance, and Tim Burton movies (link via BBspot).

Last updated by eric Fri Nov 14 11:35 2003 | thought | link

vitam regit fortuna non sapientia [translation]

I want to know what serious breakdown in my network of lackeys resulted in my not being informed that The Station Agent is showing this week in Seattle at the Egyptian Theatre. I had to find out by Peter Dinklage's appearance on November 11th's Daily Show (apparently the actual title of the show is "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart"; go figure).

Really, people, you should have caught this. Expect a memo.

Last updated by eric Wed Nov 12 10:50 2003 | omission | link

post festum vinisti [translation]

I always have trouble with the word "emigrate". If I'm saying "Danish people who [went] to America did really neat things," then I use "emigrate", right? "Immigrate" seems to focus on the arrival, whereas "emigrate" focuses on the departure. And "emigrate" is also an adjective (with slightly different pronunciation, of course) meaning "migratory or roaming".

Hm, I wonder if quotation marks show up okay for this entry in most web browsers.

Last updated by eric Tue Nov 11 12:35 2003 | word | link

ad referendum [translation]

I'm reading way too many weblogs that talk about experiences writing novels during National Novel Writing Month, so I feel it's inappropriate for me to fill up space for today's entry with plagiarism of their voyages into novel territory.

But I seem to have a finite well of writing in me, and I think I spent it all yesterday, and have nothing to write about here. Unless I talk about the procrastination. Yeah, that's it! I'm not writing about the novel writing process, I'm writing about not writing the novel! Perfect.

• I watch Kids in the Hall; mad props (whatever those are) to Comedy Central for supplying so many of their sketches online!
• Consider developing a rating system for online dating services. What draws one of my friends to the Nerve Personals, while another sticks with Match.com? Why isn't anyone I know using eHarmony.com? Why is Friendster so popular if I don't know anyone who's actually hooked up with a date from it?
• Relive the glories of my first days as a comic book fan with the fun Marvel series Secret Wars.
• Try to figure out the identity of this dense brown bread I got from Larsen's Bakery.

Last updated by eric Tue Nov 11 12:29 2003 | deed | link

vae victis [translation]

[From an emailed explanation for why I will usually refuse any offer of a ride home after a social gathering.]

Grawr, it's just such a slippery slope. First I accept a ride from you, and then I expect a ride from you, and then I'm addicted to riding in cars, and I have to hire a chauffer, and then I have to return the chauffer and see about hiring a chauffeur, since apparently if you leave the extra "u" out, the driver turns into a stove.

Feel free to stop reading now, as I will try to explain why it is that I have trouble accepting a ride:

The way I see it, ecology aside, it's more gentlemanly for me to not accept rides from people. If I ride the bus, it takes me about 2-4 times as long to get home compared to getting a car ride. From a purely selfish perspective, getting a ride home is great!

But. To get a ride home, someone has to drive me, so that means the trip home takes up twice as many person-hours as the busride would take. That cuts the 2-4 down to 1-2 times as long from a person-hour perspective.

On top of that, the driver has to return home afterward, which effectively triples the original considered time cost, and reduces the person-hour time savings down to .66-1.33. So from a community perspective (the perspective I continually strive to consider), there's actually a potential loss of person-hours if I get a ride from a kind person such as you.

[...] Okay, so we've established that there's a potential loss of person-hours, even ignoring the environmental impacts of burning gasoline, wearing down the roads a little more, and the costs of wear & tear on the vehicle used; are there any reasons why we'd want to accept the ride anyway? One nice thing about getting a ride home is how it extends the conversation a little longer, giving us a chance to socialize further. I certainly enjoy that aspect of rides home, but then I feel bad that the driver has to go all the way back home with no company, effectively punishing the driver for MY personal choice to not own an automobile. Being a kind person, I just don't think that's appropriate in most circumstances.

But then is it just me being "kind"? I guess some small part of it is a desire to remain on even footing with people--if I'm always accepting rides from people, it makes me feel like I owe them for the rides, and I feel there's rarely anything I can do in return.

I guess that last bit is the main bit--I believe it's a small inconvenience for people to give me a ride, and it's an inconvenience I can't easily recompense. So instead I eschew the offer, the small rudeness of turning down one's generosity being balanced by keeping the relationship on more equitable footing (in my eyes, at least).

Am I being silly about this? Perhaps a little--I tend to try to be more "principled" about most things in my life than most people would reasonably expect of me. But it's important to me to do the Right Thing. If proven that I'm not really doing the Right Thing, I'm usually willing to change, but in this case I just haven't encountered many good arguments against it, y'know?

So, that's the extended discussion of why I generally will refuse rides. [...]

Yeah, I definitely think too much.

Last updated by eric Mon Nov 10 00:52 2003 | thought | link

credo quia absurdum est [translation]

Okay, I've ordered myself to start the novel tomorrow, no matter what. But then I've noticed that I have a tendency to forget things I've ordered myself to do, so I'm stating here that I have such orders; it's less frequent that I forget orders that I've mentioned to others. So do me a favor and be my Other, would you?

As proof, I offer you this link, where I will stash each session's worth of writing, sometimes even in progress. If you see nothing there by the end of the day tomorrow, definitely feel free to harangue me on that point.

Of course, I might've gotten some work done on it tonight if I hadn't gone and nuked the main page for this weblog, and then had to reconstruct it from memory and a few other tricks. I guess my shell skills are getting a mite bit rusty. Must be time to write another File::Find script.

Last updated by eric Sun Nov 09 23:38 2003 | thought | link

mala in se [translation]

Her: I have hair all over my shirts; somehow the cat must've gotten into my dresser.
Me: So you're saying you have a pussy in your drawers?
Her: No. I'm most specifically not saying that.

(My apologies to everyone's sense of good taste.)

Last updated by eric Sat Nov 08 11:50 2003 | word | link

vel caeco appareat [translation]

Jane finally talked me into it, so I'll be trying to write a novel during November in deference to National Novel Writing Month. Up to this point I haven't written a thing, mainly because the start of the month coincided with a flurry of activities--weekends tend to be really busy for me, but weekdays not so much. I'm thinking I'll start actually typing it out today. Well, maybe not today--Matrix: Revolutions opens today. Tomorrow, yeah, that's a good day to start on.

I was going to comment how this movie seems to ignore the whole global warming thing people are going on about, but then I saw this article which points out

global warming does not mean sunnier weather everywhere. [...] [A]s the climate gets warmer overall, it could mean colder temperatures in some parts of the world and more severe weather in general as weather patterns change.

For instance, warmer surface sea temperatures could fuel more violent hurricanes and typhoons.

In the Great Lakes region, warmer temperatures mean more snow.

Last updated by eric Wed Nov 05 09:21 2003 | omission | link

vox populi vox Dei [translation]

I was going to remind all y'all United Stations (Statesoids?) to vote today (and remind you Seattleites not to vote for anyone from whom you received illegal automated telephone calls from, which this year includes Heidi Wills (via Sierra Club) and Barbara Schlag Peterson (I think )), but instead I must report on breaking news regarding Tenacious D's hunger strike.

I'm also doing a little happy dance because their DVD has come out earlier than I had been led to believe it would.

And yes, I realize that the actual text of RCW 80.36.400 (according to the article "Seattle man has telemarketer's number") proscribes automated calling only when

it involves commercial solicitation, which is defined as the unsolicited initiation of a telephone conversation for the purpose of encouraging a person to purchase property, goods, or services.

Last updated by eric Tue Nov 04 10:12 2003 | deed | link

lex non scripta [translation]

I play in game tournaments occasionally; this past weekend I played in a tournament consisting of three games. I lost the first one horribly, then the second one went pretty much the same way. Ultimately I decided to play conservatively in the last game, and ended up losing that one as well.

But then I won the best sportsman prize for the tournament, which got me thinking--if I go into a game with the goal of winning, chances are pretty good I might not win, and even if I do win, my opponent probably won't have any fun. But if I go into the game hoping to have fun, chances are good both my opponent and I will have fun.

So in a tournament of three rounds against differing opponents, my choices are to try for a win, thus alienating three people and probably not having a good time since chances of winning are slim; or I can try for fun, probably not win, but share the joy of gameplay with three others and have a great time myself.

Now I'm wondering if maybe life is the same way.

Last updated by eric Mon Nov 03 16:59 2003 | thought | link

labor omnia vincit [translation]

Occasionally I lament the fact that I seem to have lost that sense of wandering wonderment I possessed back in the late nineties, when I was first discovering the glories of the worldwide web. I would spend hours and hours exploring hyperlinks that carried me to new information I would never have thought to seek when first my search began. Some of that lost is due to better search engines these days--it's so much easier to find directly what you're looking for, then conclude the search. No need to go through several filter sites that end up derailing the search into something just as interesting, if not more due to its completely new and previously unknown essence.

Sometimes, though, I'm still able to conjure up such reveries, and find myself following some path I can't recall later (stupid tabbed browsers!); then I end up finding pages like this one, an excerpt from The Two-Income Trap, subtitled "Why Middle-Class Mothers & Fathers are Going Broke".

It's weird, I read that and wonder what might be a solution to the problem. Some would say we need fewer taxes in order to reduce the burden on the middle class. Some would call for better schools everywhere so that housing bidding wars are less prevalent. I guess I'd have to read the book to figure out the best solution.

Last updated by eric Sun Nov 02 10:17 2003 | word | link

lex talionis [translation]

The other day I spoke to a Libertarian about her beliefs. I asked her if I understood Libertarianism properly--that it basically wants to do away with as much government as possible, let people do whatever they want, and if they ever feel that their freedoms are being infringed by others, they should simply sue.

Something didn't quite strike me right about that, and later I realized what it is: If you're using litigation instead of legislation to ensure your liberties, aren't you essentially just displacing legislation from a representative government (such as we have now, with checks and balances and junk), and moving over to a more dictatorial form of government where decisions of conflicts between individuals (and there will be such conflicts, I guarantee you) are judged by the achingly voluminous case precedence that would need to be consulted whenever a case came to trial?

So instead of relying on elected legislators, we'd just rely on appointed judges and whoever happens to get selected for jury duty. Which seems like it'd work great on a small scale--you essentially have a "village elder" and a democratic council deciding the merits of whatever cases that fall outside the jurisdiction of the basic individual freedoms we would all possess. But I'm not sure it would scale well--the current system in place seems to scale pretty nicely, I think.

So, yeah, I think I'll just avoid New Hampshire for the time being.

Last updated by eric Sat Nov 01 01:30 2003 | omission | link

tempus edax rerum [translation]

Too much to do today, no time to write.

Last updated by eric Fri Oct 31 09:19 2003 | deed | link

quaerenda pecunia primum est, virtus post nummos [translation]

Apparently the U.S. economy is going gangbusters. I shall refrain from commenting on the stupid Democrats quoted in the article criticizing the budget deficit the federal government is running at this time--last time I checked, the way we got out of the Great Depression was to let the federalies take on a big chunk of fiscal responsibility in order to help "prime the pump". If it worked then (under a President of which party?), why shouldn't we use similar methods now? It's basically just taking out a loan that we can repay to ourselves when economic times are better, what's wrong with that?

Oops, I guess I failed to refrain from commenting there. Sorry about that.

Really, the thing that bothers me most is the thought I get in my head every time I see any stories hinting at economic recovery--didn't we have a big resurgent economic growth right before the Great Depression swung into full force? Things are pretty bad now, but this really doesn't feel like the Great Depression I've always heard about. I guess we'll see.

I guess the biggest indicator for me is the behavior of most of my friends; I hear people talking about forming start-up companies, I see very distinct flashes of interest whenever someone brings up something that even lightly smacks of inspiration. It seems to me the only thing needed now is some small inspiration mixed with a splash of drive and a smidgen of charisma, just enough to keep the whole together.

All the things that drove the last economic boom have mushroomed into their megacorporate forms; it's time for the Next Big Things to find their fertile soils. So let's start spreading the bullshit, people!

Last updated by eric Thu Oct 30 12:55 2003 | thought | link

et alia [translation]

A while back, I asked for potential interpretations of the lyrics to Paul Simon's song "You Can Call Me Al". The responses trickled in a little more slowly than I anticipated (apparently I'm rare in having thought about this at length?), but I've finally been able to collate the best responses (names withheld by request).

The first response only takes Paul Simon's word for it:

I think the best way to discover meaning in Simon's song is to go to the man himself--who knows better than Paul Simon what he meant in those lyrics? First, let's look at Daniel J. Levitin's interview with Simon in GRAMMY Magazine [The article is apparently "copyright 1997 by Daniel Levitin. Permission to make digital or hard copies of part or all of this work for personal or classroom use is granted with or without fee provided that copies are not made or distributed for profit or commercial advantage and that copies bear this notice and full citation on the first page. To copy otherwise, to republish, to post on services, or to redistribute to lists, requires specific permission and/or a fee." Just so's you know. --Eric]:

DL: Some of your lyrics don't necessarily mean anything, they just sound just right.
PS: No they all mean something. I never wrote anything that had no meaning. Well, I won't say 'never', I'll say 'probably.' Maybe you'll find something and I'll say I don't know.
DL: So like, 'I can call you Betty, And you can call me Al.' Do the names Betty and Al have some particular significance or do they just...
PS: Yeah, they do but nobody would know it, it's a private joke...

Simon admits up front that the song is utterly inscrutable--we can only assign our own meanings to the song since he's being a jerk about not sharing the inside joke with us. Wait! This doesn't disprove my point, pay attention, now!

Next we turn to Paul Zollo's earlier interview in 1990:

SongTalk: "You Can Call Me Al" seems like the perfect example of that combination of the colloquial with enriched language. The chorus is conversational, set against enriched lines like "angels in the architecture, spinning in infinity..."

Paul Simon: Right. The songs starts almost like a joke. Like the structure of a joke cliche: "There's a rabbi, a minister and a priest." "Two Jews walk into a bar..." "A man walks down the street." That's what I was doing there. Because the beginning of a song is one of the hardest parts about songwriting. The first line of a song is very hard. And I always have this image in my mind of a road that goes like this [motions with hands to signify a road that gets wider as it opens out] so that the implication is that the directions are pointing outward.

It's like a baseball diamond; there's more and more space out here. As opposed to like this. [Motions an inverted road getting thinner]. Because if it's like this, at this point in the song, you're out of options.

I want to have a first line that has a lot of options.

[...] So "You Can Call Me Al," which was an example of that kind of writing, starts off very easily with sort of a joke: "Why am I soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?" Very easy words. Then it has a chorus that you can't understand. What is he talking about, you can call me Betty, and Betty, you can call me Al? You don't know what I'm talking about. But I don't think it's bothersome. [Wanna bet, dude? --Eric] You don't know what I'm talking about but neither do I. At that point.

The second verse is really a recapitulation: A man walks down the street, he says... another thing. You know?

And by the time you get to the third verse, and people have been into the song long enough, now you can start to throw abstract images. Because there's been a structure, and those abstract images, they will come down and fall into one of the slots that the mind has already made up about the structure of the song.

So now you have this guy who's no longer thinking about the mundane thoughts, about whether he's getting too fat, whether he needs a photo opportunity, or whether he's afraid of the dogs in the moonlight and the graveyard, and he's off in, listen to the sound, look what's going on, there's cattle and...

SongTalk: Scatterlings...

Paul Simon: Yeah, and these sounds are very fantastic and, look at the buildings, there's angels in the architecture...
And that's the end of the song. It goes "Phooon!" and that's the end.

There we have it! "Phooon!" The meaning is painfully clear and bright now.

Finally, another interview, this time with Giles Smith in Q Magazine in November 1993:

[The song] has such a light happy feel to it that I think people tend to think of it as a funny song where in fact it has an interesting development -- the character starts off a totally self-absorbed guy who's worried about how fat he is, and ends up a guy in a strange world looking at angels in the architecture. It evolves through all those tum- bling, jammed up lyrics and falls into that. It took a long time to write, which probably makes sense because there's a lot of words in it. The chorus, the bodyguard part, I always thought was the weakest phrase, but sometimes whatever comes to your mind won't leave and then that's what you have to do. If I could have found another chorus I would have, but I couldn't. But then because it became a kind of a hit with kids, it turned out that kids very much liked the idea of bodyguards, were very familiar with the idea. That's the violence of the world that we live in -- kids know about bodyguards. A lot of times kids will go, Did you do that song, Bodyguard? So, actually it turns out to be a good hook for a chorus.

Given Simon's various commentaries, it would seem that the song is about a time of change in a man's life, how he might go from being overwhelmed with material concerns to being inspired and uplifted by the glory of his senses and the spiritual world that lies just beyond that. End of line!

Our second contributor takes a more direct approach:

The only way to properly analyze a work of art is to approach the primary text; we must examine each stanza of the song and tease out the meaning from the words themselves. Thusly:

A man walks down the street
He says why am I soft in the middle now
Why am I soft in the middle
The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption

Our first foray into the work brings our protaganist onstage from the very first line--our "man" strolls down a road, the world arrayed before him for his examination. Yet with all the wonders of the world at hand, his first concerns are with his own physical form and how he's "soft in the middle now". Then he resorts to further self-pity regarding how the "rest of [his] life is so hard". In trying to escape his existential quandaries, he resorts to pop-culture forms of validation: a "photo-opportunity" wherein he might find some meaning in the resultant media circus surrounding his image's publication, or perhaps he could be given a "shot at redemption"; instead of working his own redemption out, it could just be given to him by someone else.

Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard
Bonedigger Bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away my well-lit door
Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

Our "man" (perhaps an "Everyman"?) is concerned with the possibility of a future life of meaninglessness, being reduced to a two-dimensional "cartoon", whose mortality will lead him to an empty burial in a bereft "cartoon graveyard". Or is his concern instead that he'll find himself stuck in a blue-collar job as a cartoon "Bonedigger", like a canine obsessed with burying bones in the backyard? The distance from the warmth of the "well-lit door" (evoking Hemingway's "Clean, Well-Lighted Place" for this author) represents our man's feeling of loss, his lack of spiritual meaning. Finally, he tries to shove the dogs away from him, attempting to deny his own animality, his sense of humor lost in the depths of his despair.

If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al

A search for identity--trading notions of Self with the Other, finding soul satisfaction in being a "long lost pal" for someone, giving money to someone else so that they will protect you, be your bodyguard; yet naming the bodyguard "Betty" (unusual since this author's general conception of bodyguards is generally masculine), thus providing some small bit of mothering from the Other. Finally, encouraging the Other to get in touch, "when you call me", and asking that a Name be assigned to the Self that the Self would like.

A man walks down the street
He says why am I short of attention
Got a short little span of attention
And wo my nights are so long

Certainly not uncommon complaints in our modernized world, so many pieces of information plaguing us, our processed sugars and chemicals keeping us awake late into the night so we can work our proper overtime allottments at our meaningless jobs.

Where's my wife and family

Shouldn't our man have a family, other human beings who might be able to provide him with some semblance of self-worth? Isn't he somehow deficient for not having founded a family?

What if I die here

...before I've found meaning to fill my soul, satisfy my spirit?

Who'll be my role-model
Now that my role-model is
Gone Gone
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl

Again appealing to the Other for an infusion of meaning--without his role-model, our man is lost, unable to survive on his own. Yet it's not a matter of having been created alone in this world--our man has specifically been abandoned, left behind, his company rejected in favor of a rather cruelly-described little girl.

All along along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations

Perhaps the least-clear moment in the work--are these "incidents and accidents" affecting the role-model or our man? If the role-model, then perhaps the role-model was not the ideal we should hope for, yet still our man pines after his departure. If the man, on top of being spiritually bereft, people are starting to talk about him...

After a reiteration of the chorus, we start anew:

A man walks down the street

Is this our same man, or another, contrasting fellow?

It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the Third World
Maybe it's his first time around
He doesn't speak the language
He holds no currency
He is a foreign man

Even greater alienation than our man from the first part of the song--instead of merely being empty of Self, this man is lost in a world he did not make. Perhaps it's a non-industrialized nation (and thus not subject to the distractions of a media-soaked society)--yet what would be "his first time around"? Is this some mention of reincarnation, or merely a statement of infamiliarity with the territory? Either way implies a sort of naïvité, which contrasts nicely with the jaded experience of the man in our first stanzas, thus implying that this is likely a completely different man we're dealing with.

He is surrounded by the sound
The sound
Cattle in the marketplace
Scatterlings and orphanages
He looks around, around
He sees angels in the architecture
Spinning in infinity
He says Amen! and Hallelujah!

Our first man got bogged down in desire, failed to acknowledge the wonders of the world he occupied, and instead merely begged for meaning from others. Our second man instead immediately is subsumed by the wonders of the environment he occupies, is completely bereft of desire, and simply rejoices in the glorious cacophony he encounters. He is Happy.

Overall, the song seems to be a criticism of our materialistic cultures followed by a celebration of the glories of a Buddhist notion of merely subsuming ourselves in the moment, freeing ourselves of desire so that we might discover enlightenment.

"I know what I put in; what you get out is between you and your God. You might get out more than I put in."

-- http://www.sfsite.com/05a/tp80.htm

Last updated by eric Wed Oct 29 12:14 2003 | word | link

fabas indulcet fames [translation]

The other night someone commented that people in "our generation" were convinced the world would be destroyed by Ronald Reagan launching us into nuclear holocaust. I wonder if the current generations climbing the maturation wall are convinced that the world will be destroyed by George W. Bush launching us into environmental holocaust.

Last updated by eric Tue Oct 28 08:57 2003 | omission | link

vita brevis, ars longa [translation]

Things've been hectic lately; I record my daily activities in iCal in the color red, making the window look like someone's sprayed a gout of stage blood across my week.

Which reminds me: Last week got to see "The Horror in the Theater: an H.P. Lovecraft Triptych of Terror" at Open Circle Theater. The show's program includes an advertisement for A Very Scary Solstice: An Eldritch Songbook & Holiday CD.

Twenty-five fully orchestrated Lovecraftian holiday songs, including [...]:

• Awake Ye Scary Great Olde Ones harmonized by the Arkham Carolers
• I Saw Mommy Kissing Yog Sothoth
• It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fish-Men
• Do You Fear What I Fear?
• the Oh Cthulhu chorus [...]

...and many, many more!

WWW.CTHULHULIVES.ORG/SOLSTICE
Yes, Virginia, there is a Cthulhu...

Oh, and the show was pretty good, too.

Last updated by eric Mon Oct 27 08:27 2003 | deed | link

abusus non tollit usum [translation]

In composing an email today, I accidentally typed "neon sigh". Now I'm obsessed with this phrase, and want to use it somewhere.

Jane's talk of doing NaNoWriMo again this year makes me think, with all this free unemployed time I have, I should try something similar. Maybe I'll have a chance somewhere in there.

If I don't do the novel, maybe I'll just write a really long essay. Or the other option would be to just do a poem here every day for the entire month; if anyone would prefer I not do that, please speak up.

Oh, and dearest Mother goes in for surgery this week. Here's hoping her all the best for a safe procedure and a speedy recovery.

Last updated by eric Sun Oct 19 22:11 2003 | word | link

raram faeit misturam cum sapientia forma [translation]

From today's Wired News sidebar:

Diversions It's a beautiful day to go bicycling, in Diego Maclean's animation, Bike.
Hot Off the Wire
Breaking news from AP and Reuters Former Miss America Runs Over Bicyclist [...]

Last updated by eric Mon Oct 13 22:19 2003 | deed | link

proprio motu [translation]

I'm not sure why she did, but over a year ago H sent me an email:

Okay, I was thinking Spider-Man could use a sidekick, and it should be you.

You could be Eric-Man. You could have a theme song:

Eric-Man, Eric-Man
He's the sidekick of Spider-Man
Spins a web? No, he can't
But he's got radioactive pants
Look out...here comes the Eric-man!

Eric-Man, Eric-Man
The wacky sidekick of Spider-Man
In his super pants he isn't shy
He catches criminals in his fly
Look out...here comes the Eric-Man!

Last updated by eric Sun Oct 12 23:53 2003 | omission | link

mirabilia [translation]

Hammering Man stands in front of the Seattle Art Museum. When I first got to Seattle several years ago, I was fascinated by the sculpture, and would sometimes sit under it around 10pm in order to see it stop hammering (only once did I even get close, and was interrupted by my date showing up; missed it as a result).

As the precis mentions, Seattle's Hammering Man is numbered 3277164. For a long time I was convinced that the number had some special meaning, like maybe it's a telephone number in some area code that, when called, will give me the meaning of life, or tell me my ideal occupation, or something similarly magical.

Turns out the number refers to Borofsky's "Counting from One to Infinite":

[Borofsky] started to count on paper for several hours each day. Heading from one to infinity, his counting took a not unexpected turn. He'd think of something that he wanted to draw and put it right down there with the numbers.

After literally several years of counting, one day he thought he'd like to paint one of his sketches. Instead of signing it, he used the number he had reached that day as his signature. [...] He signed [...] other paintings and sculptures [...] with the number he had arrived at when they were completed.

-- Jonathan Borofsky: Nobody Knows His Name, Everybody Has His Number

Last updated by eric Sun Oct 12 11:28 2003 | thought | link

paupertas omnium artium repertrix [translation]

Tonight I watched Martin Bell's film Streetwise, recommended to me by R, the only person I've ever talked to repeatedly on the bus. She was describing some of her perspective on Seattle history, and I mentioned how everyone in Southern California refers to "inner city" in a way I don't associate with Seattle. R said it wasn't always that way, and I should check out Streetwise for another perspective on the notion.

She's quite right. I almost recognize the city from the scenes in the movie--a building here, an archway there, the neon sign at Pike Place Market, those look familiar. But the kids turning tricks on Pike Street (though they call them "dates"), the fistfights that spill over to grappling in the path of a bus, the barely-pubescent kids smoking Marlboros on 2nd Ave. This is not the downtown I know.

The movie was filmed around 1983; the kids in the movie are in their early teens for the most part. Kids only a little older than I was at that time, already able to rattle off the names of three different venereal diseases they've suffered through. Totally not the childhood I had.

It's not the Seattle I know, various buildings are missing, the buses and cars all look different, and yet the look in the kids' faces is all too familiar. Though it's changed a lot in the past twenty years, Seattle's still got people who find themselves turning tricks to barely support themselves, first to distance themselves from a life that's even more repugnant, then out of habit, then because there's no other option.

I guess. I mean, I don't really know.

The video of the movie is still available secondhand at Amazon.com. The photographer who did the original LIFE magazine article on the kids has the contents of the associated book on her website with quotes from the movie. I'm not sure if it's quite as powerful if you haven't seen the movie; it's certainly quite evocative afterwards, though.

Last updated by eric Tue Sep 23 00:37 2003 | omission | link

tempus omnia revelat [translation]

Recently a friend told me of his various medical woes. He described acute conditions, then spoke of rather mild maladies he experienced which he described as "chronic". Since I'd always thought "chronic" meant "excessively" or "really", I nearly corrected him on his word misuse (as I am too wont to do); I only held back since he'd been my high school English teacher, so he'd probably shoot me down more than most if I were to try to spin a correction past him.

I was perplexed; I looked the term up in a dictionary as soon as one was available. Turns out my inability to extrapolate from word origins strikes again: chronic obviously comes from chronos, meaning it has something to do with time, not intensity. So its definition makes no mention of intensity whatsoever, though I suppose I've used the word so often to represent singular non-temporal examples of intense behavior that it should probably have a slang entry that mentions as such.

I guess I'll never stop learning things from my high school teachers.

Last updated by eric Sun Sep 21 10:08 2003 | word | link

modus vivendi [translation]

I'm often obsessed with figuring out my demographic; lately I've been using my time off from work to compare and contrast myself with the people around me. It mostly seems to reach all the way back to my upbringing; for example, I've never been quite sure where I fit in the lower-middle-upper class hierarchy in the United States. Sometimes I think that my upbringing was a lower economic class since I didn't have nearly as many Star Wars toys as many friends and cousins did, but then I have conversations with people where they talk about the time they spent sleeping on the streets as a child, and it just seems silly to try to convince myself that I had anything but a middle-class childhood.

Now, though, I can say for sure that I wasn't raised by hippies (link from Little. Yellow. Different.). At least, I think I can say for sure. I mean, Ma & Pa seem to be voting the Republican party lines fairly consistently, but then there are all them progressive ideas that I picked up from somewhere while I was growing up; I'd like to think I was rebellious and brilliant enough to pick up those ideas somewhere on my own, but in fact I've always been quite the conformist, so really I must've just got 'em from my parents.

Still, I feel kinda like I'm ... I'm not sure what word to use for it. I was going to say "slumming", but that doesn't capture the "poseur" connotation I'm shooting for. Or how I'm just taking advantage of the system in an evil way.

But then last night I talked to several people at a gathering who had all specifically decided that they'd had enough of working 60 to 70-hour workweeks and abandoned that line of work for something that allowed for more free time. I guess that's kinda what I'm doing, just with an extended vacation tacked onto the beginning?

Well, that's what I'll keep telling myself, at least.

Last updated by eric Wed Sep 17 10:09 2003 | thought | link

quando hic sum, non jejuno Sabbato; quando Romae sum, jejuno Sabbato [translation]

Sunday: Internet access is limited down in Southern California; I guess I should have brought the laptop to expedite entry composition. Doesn't seem to be too much WiFi access, either, so I'm not sure it would have helped all that much. Besides, I'm having more fun visiting with old friends than playing on computers anyway.

It's been a long time since I've been here. It was spring of 1998 when I left; at that point I was no longer tied romantically to the region, and many of my friends and family were leaving the immediate area, making me think I had nothing to tie me down any longer, so it must be time to relocate to a denser metropolis like Seattle (the fewer glaring days of sunshine were just a bonus back then). Coming back to visit was daunting, though--not only do I have a lot of people to visit with, the idea of needing a car to get around seems excessive. Really, though, I think the extra time I took in getting back down here helps me establish some emotional distance, allowing the trip to be a journey of self-discovery. I think I'm looking for some aspect of Myself here. Or perhaps my Self. Maybe just Me.

Hm. So perhaps this trip is more of an internal journey, something only really relevant to me, and of little interest to y'all.

In short, Southern California is about driving. And lots fewer white people than there are in the Pacific Northwest. Some Asians, but more Mexicans. I check out the fast food restaurants I miss (Baker's, Carl's Jr., Papi's Tacos al Carbon), and wonder at the vast numbers of people I have to visit.

Tuesday: I talk to people who own small shops, ask them for pointers on opening my own; they invariably say it's great work if you have a significant other who's well-employed, or else you have a second job of your own on the side. This is rather telling, I think.

People keep using the phrase "inner city" to mean something besides the gentrified downtown area I'm used to in Seattle. It's creepy (their use of the phrase, not the downtown area in Seattle...well, not most of it).

There seem to be more busstops here than I remember, and more buses (all I see are natural gas buses, yay, less smog!). Everyone waiting at the busstops has vastly more melanin than I, which disappoints me. The local paper runs a story about the bus system in Phoenix with a headline speaking of a "Third World Transportation System", which seems to imply to me that buses are an outdated mode of transport, though the article seems to have a slightly different take on the matter.

Wednesday: I have lunch with my hosts and the ex-girlfriend. She looks much better than I do, which makes me somewhat happy, since I sometimes worry about what horrible effect our breakup might have had on her. She doesn't spend much time talking directly to me, but that's probably just because of the way we're sitting, and besides it's a good opportunity to just listen to her talk--I note several phrases that we shared while dating, as well as one that Seattleites always seem to point out to me. It's good to reinforce these memories, see where the Self originates, find the habits it uses to communicate with the world.

I'm sure most of the trip will go the same.

Last updated by eric Wed Sep 10 16:59 2003 | deed/socal trip | link

ars est celare artem [translation]

Saturday starts off slowly, which is preferable after a day of air travel. My hosts have gone to San Bernardino with some relatives, so I head over to the UC Riverside campus for some more lurching memory experiences. I attended the campus for four years, but it's changed markedly; since I'm a weird out-of-towner, I choose to walk to the campus (I'm only staying a couple blocks away from its borders), and end up sweating excessively as a reward. Still, it gives me a chance to take a long slow look at the campus, marveling at the various new buildings, but generally more surprised by how little has changed. I find the theatres I used to perform and work in, am surprised to find the Fine Arts Building, a completely new structre since I'd been in town. The structure makes me laugh--it perfectly embodies all that's wrong in SoCal architecture as best described in Davis's City of Quartz. The thing looks like a prison with its lack of a clear entrance and bar-like railings everywhere, just like Davis outlines in his book.

Another surprise is the library--I head there to check my email since my hosts don't have broadband. The entire first floor seems to have lost its books, having them replaced with numerous terminals with limited web access. Things have definitely changed since I was in school.

My hosts return from San Bernardino; we go to Fatburger for lunch, which actually has pretty lean burgers, if you ask me. Go figure. We spend the afternoon talking about their visit to Little Joe's Shoe Repair--apparently "Little Joe" is one of three specialists in orthotics in the United States, the other two in New York City. My unemployed always-searching-for-career-opportunities mind leaps on this as an interesting notion. The work that Little Joe does is amazing, and his insight into various orthotic issues is amazing. Apparently the work requires a doctorate as well as extensive training; though I'm not too keen on going back to school, doing something this helpful for the world seems like a satisfying endeavor. Something to think about, at least.

Eventually I make arrangements with S and his mother to carpool down to Escondido area to have dinner at Hernandez Hideaway. Only 24 hours in SoCal and already I'm having a second great Mexican meal! Fantastic. We three have a fun conversation on the way to Escondido; there we meet B, his wife and 8-year-old son. B, S and I haven't been together since our college days, we determine, so it's a mini-high school reunion of sorts. We catch up on all the neat engineering stuff they've been working at, lives in general, etc. It's a great time.

We offer our farewells to B and his family, then head back north to Riverside. I marvel how readily people drive enormous distances just to visit with people--it's such a big deal for me to travel more than 30 miles back in Seattle. This is immense fun, though--I suppose if I always had someone along for the ride, it'd be vastly more tolerable to go on longer local-ish trips.

Last updated by eric Sun Sep 07 18:09 2003 | deed/socal trip | link

in memorium [translation]

Friday: As is my habit, I start my trip to Southern California by arriving at the airport too early, so I have time to wander around, read, try to nap. Not much luck with any of the three, but the plane eventually arrives to carry me off to the place where I had spent the biggest chunk of my life so far.

I'd been pretty freaked the night before. I stayed up late, unable to sleep, generally anxious about the notion of going back to see all the people and places I'd left behind more than five years ago. When I finally got to sleep, I dreamt of a former teacher making broad winking hints at some bit of wisdom that I'd never picked up on while living in the area. No matter how often he closes one eye, I can't figure out what it is I'm supposed to have learned, and feel ashamed that I'm coming to visit without that wisdom.

So, armed with sleeplessness, I spend most of the flight dozing, though I have some brief interaction with the Indian woman sitting next to me before we take off. She reminds me of someone else, but I'm fairly certain I'm mistaken. Finally we're about to land in Ontario, and we somehow start talking about our reasons for visiting Southern California, and she mentions that she's going to Soboba for a film-making workshop sponspored by the American Indian Film Institute (at which point I wonder if George Lucas is stealing names for his characters as well as his storylines from American Indian traditions). My curiousity piqued, I ask if she's involved in the film industry in Seattle (I've always been fascinated by the productions done in Seattle). She pauses for a moment, then reveals that she played a role for several years on the television show "Northern Exposure". I repress any urge to do the typical fanboy responses, though smile pretty big nonetheless. I got to sit next to Marilyn on an airplane! After revealing this tidbit, we all exit the plane, thus sparing her any more of my gushing.

After the surreal experience of encountering a famous actor, I figure things will settle back into normalcy. But they don't. I'm immediately struck by how well I remember the area--the airport has changed immensely, but the roads are all the same. I remember terrain features, road signs, the way the freeway curves. It's hard to talk about an interstate without prefacing its number with "I-", but otherwise everything feels eerily familiar. I suppose this is mostly because Southern California's Inland Empire is where I learned to drive, so I'm more familiar with its regional features than anywhere else I've lived before--even Seattle doesn't feel so familiar behind the wheel of a car since I've mostly been carless while living there.

Traffic's kinda bad and I have some time to kill before my generous hosts will be home, so I decide to try a surface route. Again I'm struck by how well I remember the main roads, and quickly find myself headed to my favorite games shop in the area. They've relocated, but I'm able to find them pretty quickly. After almost six years of not seeing me, they actually remember me from before--I'm totally shocked by this. The shop's actually grown quite a bit, and I'm impressed by their selection and play area, especially when compared with similar shops in Seattle, where games seem to be much more popular. I'm quite pleased to find some dice that match the set I'd built up in my years in SoCal, so I buy a few to complete my collection, so to speak. It's nice being back down here.

I drive around some more, shocked that I didn't remember Baker's, since it was one of my favorite burger joints in SoCal. I'm going to have a lot of eating to do while I'm down here!

The surreal experience builds to the point that I have to call up H and babble incoherently about how weird it is being back here. She kindly listens in a bemused fashion, though having lived down here she's more likely than anyone to understand the feeling. Once I impress her by still remembering her parents' telephone number, I ring off to go find other things to weird me out.

My hosts eventually get home, and my request for good Mexican food is answered with a great Incan/Mayan/Mexican restaurant which advertises WiFi access (dangit, shoulda brought my laptop--it seems so far that I'll be plagued with little to no internet access while visiting here). Yet again my theory about the higher quality of Southern California Mexican food boils down to the salsa and the tortillas, both of which are amazing, and little like anything I've had in Seattle.

I have a great time listening to my hosts' tales, but am struck by the phrase "inner city"--Seattle must be a strange place since the notion of "inner city" conjures up images of hipsters, bohemians, and yuppies staggering along drunkenly after a night of barhopping. It seems this phrase evokes a completely different concept for people in SoCal.

I finish off Friday with a big glass of tap water--my dentists in Seattle tell me that the hard water in SoCal is one of the reasons I have so few cavities, at least in comparison to people raised in Seattle. So I figure it's good to drink as much as possible, and I'm quite impressed with how little of a chlorine taste the tap water has. Apparently not all things in Seattle are as glorious as I'd like them to be.

Last updated by eric Sun Sep 07 15:16 2003 | deed/socal trip | link

suaviter in modo, fortiter in re [translation]

Evidence that my internet usage is getting out of hand: I hear the sound of rain outside my window, but instead of moving the blinds to confirm the sound, I check weather.com.

Turns out it was right, though.

Last updated by eric Tue Aug 26 08:22 2003 | omission | link

vitam impendere vero [translation]

I return from San Francisco on Amtrak. An Australian sits behind me, New Zealanders (kiwis) in front. One mentions how you can buy an unlimited railpass for a month if you're an international traveller. If I'd known about this, I'd done all my travelling this way--there's a similar deal for American citizens as well.

Really, though, the most interesting thing about this train trip is the newspaper I find at the Emeryville station. It's a copy of California Rail News with the headline "Bush Out After Amtrak: UP & CSX Cabinet Members Give an Anti-Passenger Slant to Policy". Unfortunately it appears that the paper isn't too keen on putting content online soon after publishing the hardcopy version (this paper is dated June-July 2003), so I'll just have to reproduce some interesting bits here:

If you want to understand Bush administration politics on Amtrak, start with the fact that both Vice President Dick Cheney and White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card were on the Union Pacific Board of Directors. Add in John Snow, U.S. Treasurer fresh from the helm of anti-passenger CSX and you have three very influential voices in favor of slashing the train network. [...]

Deputy Secretary of Transportation Michael P. Jackson presented a draft plan, with details promised imminently, to strip Amtrak of its ownership of the Northeast corridor track, turn Amtrak private, and allow other companies to run trains on lines where Amtrak currently has exclusive rights. USDOT hinted about matching grants to states for new rail capital investments as a way to try to buy off states like New York or California that depend heavily on Amtrak. The thought that Bush advisors straight from freight railroads are pulling the strings behind the scenes makes one wonder whether the privatization idea may have something to do with handing money to the companies they came from, à la Haliburton.

Repeated assertions by the Bush administration that privatizing Amtrak is the answer are no more convincing the tenth time than the first. After all, Britain has tried privatization and discovered that subsidy costs doubled, while safety and customer satisfaction both worsened [emphasis added]. The Bush administration's tendency to deal in simple sound bites on other issues have made Congress progressively less willing to take the President at his word about trains. It is quite easy to see the privatization talk as just another way to strip Amtrak of its resources. [...]

Amtrak President David Gunn, famous for his rescues of Philadelphia and New York transit systems, has [...] authored a five-year plan that would raise Amtrak's cost to as much as $1.8 billion annually, but this amount would cover both Amtrak's operating deficits and replacement of key infrastructure in the Northeast that dates from the 1920's. Our national railroad frankly will continue to be a basket case until it receives the kind of investment that our government has routinely made in roads, canals, and airports.

[...] As it stands, the privatization proposal just looks to many Californians like another scam such as energy deregulation. [How uncannily timely, considering the Right Coast blackouts lately. --eric]

Bush administration attacks on Amtrak have recruited even the New York Times, often a key Amtrak critic, to ride to the railroad's defense. Calling America's approach to passenger rail "woefully haphazard and shortsighted," the Times observes that all other modes are "routinely financed, without a Congressional debate every year on their continued existence. Only when it comes to trains must Washington look around for spare change to keep the service running."

Myth #1 - Amtrak can be profitable.

• No national rail passenger system in the world is profitable. Without public subsidy, there will be no passenger rail transportation systems in the United States.

Myth #2 - The private sector is dying to take over our services.

• Remember why we were formed. We are what is left of a once privately run enterprise.

Myth #3 - Long-distance trains are the problem.

• This is perhaps one of the biggest myths. If you eliminate every long-distance train,