Going for the Gold

There's a voice on the phone 
telling what had happened
some kind of confusion
more like a disaster
and it wondered how you were left unaffected
but you had no knowledge
no the chemicals covered you
and so a jury was formed 
as more liquor was poured
no need for conviction
they're not thirsting for justice
butI slept with the lies 
I keep inside my head
I found out I was guilty
I found out I was guilty
but I won't be around for the sentencing
cause I'm leaving
on the next airplane
and though I know that my actions are impossible to justify
they seem adequite to fill up my time 
and if I could talk to myself like I was someone else
then maybe I could take your advice
and I wouldn't act like such an asshole all the time

there's a film on the wall 
makes the people look small
who are sitting beside it 
all consumed in the drama
they must return to their lives
once the hero has died
they will drive to the office
stopping somewhere for coffee
where the folk singers, poets, and playwrites convene
dispinsing their wisdom
oh dear amateur orator
they will detail their pain 
in some standard refrain
they will recite their sadness
like it's some kind of contest
well if it is
I think I am winning it
all beaming with confidence
as I make my final lap
the gold medal gleams
so hang it around my neck
cause I am deserving it
the champion of idiots

but a kid carries his Walkman on that long bus ride to omaha
I know a girl who cries when she practices violin
cause each note sounds so pure
it just cuts into her
and then the melody comes pouring out her eyes
now to me everything else it just sounds like a lie.


Oh, You are the Roots That Sleep Beneath my Feet and Hold the Earth in Place

I met you through a common friend
in the attic of my parents house
and though I didn't know it then
I soon was finding out
you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet 
and hold the earth in place
each time a faucet opens
words are spoken
the water runs away 
and I hear your name
no, nothing has changed

there was this book I read and loved
the story of a ship
who sailed around the world and found
that nothing else exists
beyond his own two sails
and wooden shell 
and what is held within
all else is sure to pass
we clutch and grasp
and debate what's truly permanent
but when the wind starts to shift
there's no argument

I sing and drink and sleep on floors
and try hard not to be annoyed
by all these people worrying about me
so when I'm suffering through some awful drive
you occasionally cross my mind
it's my hidden hope that you are still among them
well are you?

Oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet 
and hold the earth in place
each time a curtain opens
sunlight pours in
a lifetime melts away
and we share a name
on some picturesque grave


No Lies, Just Love

It was in the march of the winter I turned 17
that I bought those things 
I thought I would need 
and I wrote a letter to my family
said it's not your fault
and you've been good to me
just lately I've been feeling 
like I don't belong
like the ground's not mine to walk upon
and I've heard that music
echo through the house
where my grandmother drank
by herself
and I sat watching a flower
as it was withering
I was embarrased by it's honesty
so I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
not this fucking wreck 
that's taken it's place

so please forgive what I have done
no you can't stay mad at the setting sun
we all get tired I mean eventually 
there's nothing left to do but sleep

but spring came bearing sunlight
those persuasive rays
so I gave myself a few more days
my salvation it came, quite suddenly
when Justin spoke very plainly
he said "Of course it's your decision,
but just so you know,
if you decide to leave, 
soon I will follow"

I wrote this for a baby
who has yet to be born
my brother's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm
cause it's cold out here
and it'll be quite a shock 
to breathe this air 
to discover loss
so I'd like to make some changes 
before you arive
so when your new eyes meet mine
they won't see no lies
just love. 
just love.

Kathy With a K's Song

Love is real
it is not
just in novels or the movies
it is fact
and it is standing here right in front of you
so if you open your eyes
what a sweet discovery
there is hope, there is joy, and there is acceptance
so now let all the light that collects on your plants
keep you warm
make you smile
and I will be there with this pen in my hand to record
all the while
you'll be laughing so loud
that the house would shake with sound
and everything would be as new as the day it was found.

Love is real 
it is not just in long distance commercials
or something that you thought you felt back in high school
so I will turn
black and white
become that horoscope you're reading
it predicts something good is on it's way
and then I'll send you the world green and blue 
in a box in the mail 
you can open it up 
hold it right in your hand and be glad taht it's there
and be glad that you're there
you can feel all the knots in your stomach start to untie
and suddenly it's not so hard to say you're allright.

Love is real
it is not 
just in poetry and stories
it is truth 
and it will follow you
 everywhere you go from now on
so if you would just cast off your doubt
then your lips would answer for you
oh my darling, when you smile
it is like a song
and I can hear it now.

b