This is, approximately, the monologue to my Masquerade skit at Arisia '95. No more Masquerades for me: I'm not a costumer, and the rehearsal, prep, and so on took up most of Saturday. And to top it all off, the sound crapped out in my performance and most of the audience heard little more than static. This is my chance to undo some of my frustration.
I've just come back from a tour of the Omniverse. Everyone was so nice to me!On the Discworld, Rincewind gave me his hat. Said I was obviously at least as great a wizard as he was. I think he meant it as a compliment.
Pyanfar Chanur put this earring in my ear after I helped her put down a rebellious hakkikt in the back end of kif space. That was after she became the Personage of Personages, the President of the whole gods-be Compact... but she still couldn't speak kifish worth spit.
I grew the asymmetric beard when I was adopted into a Herrenmann family on Wunderland. I really ought to go back there some day and see how the Markhams are getting on without me.
The cape is from Ravenloft. I was staying with Count Strahd von Zarovich of Barovia; nice guy, but a picky eater. He said, "My dear boy, you seem to have have developed a sore throat. Here, take my cape. It will keep your blood warm."
But in spite of all the places I've been, and the souvenirs I've brought back, I've still had some disappointments. Would you believe it?
My fyunch(click) went to Mote Prime and all I got was this lousy F-shirt! See the costume (18k JPEG). I didn't have the earring on for this photo, but if you look close you can make out the word "WIZZARD" on the hat.
(The asymmetric beard is genuine and permanent, though hard to make out in the picture.)
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