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Each song is described in its category or categories. To reduce loading time, this list is divided into two pages; you are reading Page 1. The alphabetical list, which is also on a separate page, points to the categories that each song is in as well as to the song itself.
Count Vorvlaceslav. What the folk process might do to "Good King Wenceslas" on Barrayar. Eric Oppen started it on the lois-bujold email discussion list and I finished it.
A Civil Campaign Suite. A couple of years ago I wrote a short song for Enrique and another for Mark in A Civil Campaign. While rereading it in the summer of 2002 I thought of providing a song for each of the POV characters: Miles, Ekaterin, Mark, Kareen, and Ivan. Enrique already had one, and first Dono, then Lady Alys, insisted on joining in.
- Ivan's Grumble
Cousin Miles is always manipulating me. It's not right. It's not fair. It's not my fault. Something ought to be done. [Posted Aug. 2002]- Ekaterin's Complaint
Men! And especially these Vor men. They're coming out of the woodwork! [Posted Aug. 2002]- Enrique's Lament
My bioengineered butterbugs are so useful, so wonderful, so adorable... why doesn't anybody like them? [Posted Feb. 2001]- Donna, Dono
If you can't beat 'em at their own game, change the rules and join 'em. [Posted Aug. 2002]- Kareen's Resolution How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen the Orb? [Posted Aug. 2002]
- Miles's Effervescence Bubbling over inside. [Posted Aug. 2002]
- (For no good reason at all, an Esperanto version.) [Posted Oct. 2004]
- Alys's Grand Levee When the unquestioned doyenne of Vorbarr Sultana society throws a party, everyone who is anyone is there. [Posted Aug. 2002]
- Mark's Jingle
Once you find a way to make a saleable product out of "the most disgusting, gut-destroying, guerilla attack-beverage ever brewed by man", you still have to advertise it. [Posted Feb. 2001]This Road. At the opening of The Curse of Chalion, Cazaril is walking down a road. [Posted July 2004]
Winterfair Gifts. Based on the novella of the same title, and written before it was released. How, you may ask. Owing to a change of personnel at the publishing house, the collection containing this and five other "SF/romance crossovers" was delayed a year, much to everyone's disappointment, irritation, and confusion, not to mention the disruption of the carefully planned publicity campaigns leading up to the scheduled Valentine's Day release. But a licensed translation had already been released in Croatia, and some of us had bought copies through the Bujold list. Then a Croatian fan back-translated the story into English, with the help of a couple of other listies, and with Lois's approval the back translation was printed up as Winterfair Gifts: A Comedy of Translations and offered for sale only to those who had bought the Croatian edition. And that, children, is how your grandpa was able to sing this teaser, or trailer (guaranteed spoiler-free), at Arisia and/or Boskone 2004 (grandpa's memory is a little fuzzy) before the book was published. (And that is how your loquacious host manages to write a description that is several times longer than the song it is about.) [Posted December 2004]
The Wolf Within. Based on The Hallowed Hunt. (Sheet music; MIDI file) [Posted May 2007]
Don't Pick On The Librarian offers some useful advice for visitors to the Discworld. [Posted July 2001]
The Hedgehog Song. Bawdy, not for children; rated X. This is probably my least requested creation, especially by my family, but I like it, and it is appreciated at the right place and time (usually about three a.m. in the filkroom at a con). You may find it offensive, or funny, or both; I hope the latter and not the former.
- Local HTML version, with linked annotations and musical notation (14k GIF). Thanks to Shane Bodrero for giving me the impetus to write up the score in a postable form.
- Pure-ASCII version of the text and annotations together, on the L-space site, which is devoted to Terry Pratchett fandom, especially the Discworld.
- A strange character (and I think even I can say that!) called Wyyrd ("wired"? "weird") has posted my song on his or her site. If you are 18 or over, you can find that copy by going to http://www.hootisland.com. Find the section called "EroticHa!" and select "Hoot Island Sings". Once there, click on "Ballads". (Wyyrd has requested that I post these directions rather than a direct link to the page to ensure that anyone going to the site will at least see the main page and know that they're getting into an adult site, one that's devoted to silly, fun, and funny sex.)
- In response to the Communications Decency Act, Rich Brown has filked my (version of the) Hedgehog Song into "Bugger the CDA". I am honored.
- Here
isused to be something very different to do with hedgehogs; unmusical, irrelevant, bizarre, and (in my twisted opinion) funny. (If I can find where it's moved to, I'll fix the link.)Scumble. A potent beverage. [Posted Feb. 2001]
Thinking-Brain Dog. Foul Ole Ron's dog in Terry Pratchett's Discworld book Feet of Clay. Even if you haven't read it you can still enjoy this song, if you're twisted enough. And if you're not at least a little twisted, what are you doing on my filksong page?
If you like Brust, take a look at my Brust website. ("Stevie likes it!")
At The Seventeenth Cycle's End. Based on Five Hundred Years After.
Rocza's Song. An imagined look inside the mind of a character we seldom hear from. [Posted December 2004]
You Don't Mess With Sethra Lavode. Not if you want to live. Even if you want to die with honor, if you want a chance at reincarnation. [posted December 2004]
Seventeen Nights Drunk In Adrilankha. There's an old song -- really old, Child #274 -- called "Five Nights Drunk", or "Our Goodman", or "Shickered As He Could Be", or "The Traveler", or "Seven Drunken Nights", or ... see The Mudcat Café. Tom Smith has a version called Seven Drunken Nights In Space. Of course, a Dragaeran version wouldn't be five nights, or seven, but seventeen.
Al Amarja (Fiddler on the Edge). Life in Al Amarja is lived On the Edge... and in The Edge, and Over the Edge. [Posted March 2001]
The Bree West-gate. A Bree drinking song, from sometime after the Travelers returned with their tales of walking trees who were looking for their wives. [Posted December 2004]
Bound for Argo. Those spacers sure put a lot of strain on the liquor supply, and everything else in town. Somebody's got to bring in the goods. [Posted April 2006]
Dead Wizards' Houses. One night before bed I was listening to Cheryl Wheeler's song "Estate Sale" over and over again, to transcribe and learn the words. The first thing I picked up to read the next morning was the Dragon Magazine Annual. This was the misbegotten result.
The Dutchman and the Lady. A story that Poul Anderson never wrote, but I think it's in character for this hero. [Posted Feb. 2001]
East of Agamemnon (Widsith's Song). If you've read John Myers Myers's Silverlock, you'll recognize the rowing song that Golias (under the name Widsith) sang to Brodir's crew. ... You haven't read Silverlock? Then why are you wasting time surfing the Web? Run out at once and get it, and read it, and then come back. I'll still be here... ... ... ... ... That was quick. Read it, too? Good! Now, if you like, you can open up the sheet music (7.6k GIF) and sing it. (Sorry, no music files available. Maybe someday.) And you can sing the fourth verse I've written, if you like.
Eight Days of Luke. Based on the novel of the same name by the ever-original Diana Wynne Jones. [Posted March 2005]
Fugue for Resurrectionists. Igor, Doc, and the Monster give 'em that old razzle-dazzle. [Posted Feb. 2006]
The Good Ship "Manatee": The Real Story. Deb Sanders & Leslie Fish told the story of "the strangest ship to sail the starry sea". Ah, but that's the story the crew want you to believe. [posted December 2005]
The Harkonnen Conscript. Based on Frank Herbert's Dune. Perhaps the first filk I wrote. [posted December 2004]
Jupiter Farewell. On June 27, 2000, the New York Times Sunday Magazine had a long tribute to Stanley Kubrick. One week later the TV broadcast of the Boston Pops Independence Day concert had a commercial for vacation cruises on Holland America Lines with a toll-free number: 1 800 SAIL-HAL. [Posted March 2001]
A King in Krothering. Preparing for Boskone 33 (which was held in February 1999), I wanted to write an original filk for the theme contest, which was on the subject of "Great Escapes". I remembered an episode from E.R. Eddings's* masterly heroic fantasy The Worm Ourobouros, and it turned into this. When I got to the con I discovered that I'd misread the announcement, and the event was a theme concert: invention not required. But I enjoyed writing it anyway.
* ("Eddings", not "Eddison". No relation.) [Posted May 2001]Little Fuzzy Lunatics. Not H. Beam Piper's Little Fuzzy (IMHO one of the sanest characters in SF) and his kin, but about another little fuzzy race, Poul Anderson & Gordon Dickson's Hokas. [Posted August 2005]
Little Man. Written for a really twisted event devised by Randy Hoffman at Confluence 2004. [posted December 2004]
Me and Brennan Out On the Warpath. Larry Niven's Protector, as not sung by Paul Simon. [Posted March 2001]
Men of Good Fortune. Suppose you could be immortal for as long as you wanted to be, and all you had to do was to meet for a drink and a chat with the man who gave you the gift... once every century? [Posted March 2001]
Noman's Plan. Odysseus and the Cyclops Polyphemus, based on Book IX of The Odyssey. [Posted March 2004]
New Days. Based on C.J. Cherryh's Chanur trilogy, and borrowing Michael Longcor's setting of Rudyard Kipling's "The Irish Guards". [Posted Oct. 2002]
The Perilous Gard. At the end of The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope, the minstrel Randal is beginning to make a song about the events in the story; he's only written one verse. I wanted to hear the rest. [Posted November 2007]
The Pixies o' the Wildwood. This lady did not go of her own free will. [Posted December 2005]
Riddle of Threes.
A riddlethree riddlesfour riddles for the SF fan. [Posted December 2004]Rudolph the Red-Eyed Vampire. A Hallowe'en carol.
So Long, And Thanks. In memory of Douglas Adams.
Trolls. Yet another one ttto Threes. [posted December 2004]
Vingean Heroes. Minimally speaking, a "one-verse wonder". [Posted December 2004]
Virgin Blood. Whoso would command a greater power had better be damn sure of the rules. [Posted Feb. 2001]
wa' voDleH. A Klingon counting song. [Posted April 2006]
Widdicombe Faring. A Viking ghost ship song, begun by Bill Barton in the 1960s, posted to FILK_UK in his memory by his son Andrew in 2002, and completed by me along the course laid by Bill, or "Vilhjalmr Song-friend". [Posted March 2003]
Wings In Flight. Lee Gold and I independently wrote followers to and ttto Cat Faber's "Wings" that fit together with the original to make a single larger story. Lee published both followers in Xenofilkia #84, August 2002. [Posted April 2003]
Working on the Magway. Hard work on the moon, poured into Robert A. Heinlein's The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress.
Non-fictional space and science.
The DHMO Song. Danger! Danger! Stop this environmental menace!
Germs of the Earth. Sort of a battle song, sung by the enemy within.
Lightspeed is Easy. I wrote this for a theme concert at Concertino '99, but fortunately did not submit it. [posted December 2004]
Little Fuzzy Ancestors. Well, a little science anyway, at the end. More than in The Darwin Awards.
Little Fuzzy Mineral. A teaching song.
Little Fuzzy Vegetables. Also a little science, and also saved for the very end. A nominee for the Pegasus Award in 2000, in the category "Food and Drink".
Prehistoric Science. Written for the ConCertino 2003 "Rocket Science" theme contest. Won Audience Award, and Judges' Award for Best Original Song (i.e., with original music). [posted December 2004]
Shannon's Going Home. Shannon Lucid spent a longer time in space than she expected... and longer than any American or any woman before her.
Somebody's Moggy's Clone. At Genetic Savings and Clone in Sausalito, Calif., you can have your cat cloned for $32,000, not counting cell sample, preservation, and vet fees. -- The New York Times, 2005-05-28, p. C5 [Posted Aug. 2005]
An Appeal to Lou and Peter. Addressed to a great duo, non-filkers though they be, whose songs many filkers are nevertheless fond of.
B Movie. So bad you can't stay away. [Posted Oct. 2005]
The Ballad of Lois Mangan is the True Story of how I was Sucked into the Bottomless Pit of Filkdom by the relentlessly smiling lady of the title (God bless her).
La Belle Dame Sans Merci. Erica Neely is a delightful person, a beautiful woman, and a fine filker. She specializes in ose... as in "ose, ose, and more-ose". When she's around it's common to hear "Hide the razor blades, Erica's up next!" At Conterpoint 3 she gave a concert dressed in a drop-dead black leather outfit. We almost obliged. Her mother looked proud, and rightly so. Not all of her songs are gloomy, though: she defended herself in a humorous one called "Not Everybody Dies". This is my tribute to her.
Con From Argo. I was on the ConComm (Program Chair) for ConCertino '99. Our Guests of Honor were Bill and Brenda Sutton; one of Bill's most famous songs is the Pegasus-winning "Do It Yourself", and that was the theme of the Con and the theme filk contest. I wrote this about being on the ConComm for ConCertino '99, and the nice people there voted it second place in the contest. [Added skeleton key (who's who) Feb. 2001]
The Definition of Filk. This is a recurrent topic of discussion among filkers. In the course of an unusually long, erudite, and heated iteration of it on the rec.music.filk newsgroup, I decided to express my opinion on the matter in what I considered the most appropriate form for the venue. [Posted May 2001]
The Fan Of The Rising Sun. A repentant otaku's confession. [Posted March 2003]
The Fanboy. The convention experience familiar to any con-goer, seen here by an otaku (Japanese animation fan). [Posted March 2001]
Feet Of Cambreadth. An autologous teaching instafilk. [Posted March 2003]
Fen, Don't Let Your Children Grow Up to be Mundane. No one expects the fannish obligation! [Posted April 2003]
Filk It Yourself. How to compose a hit filksong in four easy quantum-mechanical lessons. A collaborative effort.
Filker's Insomnia. A preoccupational hazard of this hobby. Recently filked by Rachel Silverman, much to my discomfort and delight.
Filkoda. An offstage coda to The Filkado, a Filbert & Sullivan space operetta first presented at Noreascon 4. [Posted September 2004]
The Good Ship "Manatee": The Real Story. Deb Sanders & Leslie Fish told the story of "the strangest ship to sail the starry sea". Ah, but that's the story the crew want you to believe. [posted December 2005]
The Hallways of BucCONeer. Con hotels are bureaucracies, and therefore especially vulnerable to Murphy's Law. A nearly-true story from the 1998 WorldCon. [Posted March 2001]
The Harper and the Viking. The sad tale of a singer who gave the audience what the audience said it wanted. Well, it's like filking.
_he _issing _etter. At cons, MASSFILC members often ornament their badges with a yellow ribbon bearing the club name and a dandelion graphic. You wouldn't want to accidentally cover up the first letter of the name... [Posted April 2003]
Ko-Ko's Great-Great-Grandson. If the Lord High Executioner from The Mikado had a twelve-year-old male descendant, can you doubt that he would be as insufferable as his illustrious ancestor? Now imagine the brat as a computer gamer... [Posted March 2001]
Leslie Fish's Ghost Is Haunting Argo Port. Doing what she sang about while living and on Earth. [Posted December 2005]
Lieder of the Banned, or, Banned from Everywhere. Could this be the Banned from Argo filk to end all Banned from Argo filks?... You wish!
Nancy Buttons. An addictive lady, rather as in the original song... though less dangerous to the health, and with much more personality. [Posted January 2006. New verse 1 inserted April 2006]
Northeast Passage. After living in Massachusetts for twenty years and filking with M.A.S.S. F.I.L.C. for eight or ten of those, it was a wrench to have to leave the area. [Posted April 2006]
A Small Snarky Voice. Those who have met me at cons or filksings have seen my familiar, Loiosh. This is not the first time he's been in my songs; see verse 3 of Con From Argo.
Smoffing the Filkers. The only somewhat fictionalized adventures of a first-time filk smof. Any relevance of this song to the fact that I wrote this just after trying to run the filking at Arisia for my second time is purely in the mind of the beholder.
The Sounds of Consonance. Almost as soon as I was invited as Interfilk guest to Consonance 2003, an Evil Idea started to grow in my linguist's brain. A collaboration of sorts between Dr. Whom and The Filker With No Nickname.
To the Tune of... What?. The Web and the Net are a mighty tool, but they are mostly visual and textual. This sometimes leads to a problem when a filker posts a song "to the obvious tune", which often isn't as obvious as one might think. [Posted Feb. 2001]
We Live On Terra. A tribute and, in a way, a reply to Julia Ecklar's "God Lives On Terra", on the Pegasus Winners (Vol. 1) tape (available from M.A.S.S.F.I.L.C.) Also, and very definitely, an answer to Bill Roper's "Wind from Rainbow's End", on the same tape... although I didn't realize that till I'd written it. (In fact, the tape begins with "Wind" and "God Lives", in that order.)
When Cons Come To New England. It's all Gary McGath's fault. In October 2001 he wrote, "The leaves are changing color, and it's heading toward that time again -- con season." That started me on this. [Posted Oct. 2001]
The Wraggle-Taggle Filkers. Updating a real oldie from gypsies to a wandering, oft-scorned subculture within modern fandom.
The Wreck of the ConCertino '99. Gary McGath swore a mighty oath before East Coast filkdom that ConCertino '99 would have full one hundred registered members. Whom the gods would destroy they first make proud... but we made it. In some other universe we didn't, and that must be where this song came from. [Posted Feb. 2001]
Yielding to Temptation. Those little distractions that run through every day (and night) of our lives. [Posted Aug. 2005]
Zander's Little Filkbook. Be careful what you wish for; you may get it. "My Filks A-Z" only ran from B to X, and I was wondering how to fill out the ends. "What starts with Z? Zander Nyrond. I bought his book of filksongs last year and promptly misplaced it. I wonder where...?" -- and just like that, the Muse hit me over the head with this idea. Song written in 12 hours, 8 of them spent sleeping. (But I still haven't found the book.) [Posted March 2001]
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last modified 2008-02-10
