When Cons Come To New England

When cons come to New England
In winter's coldest days
Aris-i-ans* and NESFen** meet
To plan events that can't be beat
In spite of ice and snow and sleet --
When cons come to New England.

When cons come to New England
They often bring the pros
And poetry and other arts
And consuites stocked with cakes and tarts
And music sung in many parts --
When cons come to New England.

When cons come to New England
We see their printed signs:
"Lose 30 lbs. in 30 days",
"Earn cash at home the easy way",
"For just half price, your driveway paved" --
When cons come to New England.

When cons come to New England
The pros are soon outweighed:
Your money's gone, the pounds remain,
You work at home, but toil in vain,
Your driveway blacktop runs in rain --
When cons come to New England.

When cons come to New England
We hope they serve their time
And turn away from fraud and theft
To harmless vices like sf
And maybe bass and treble clef --
When cons come to New England.