Nobody's Handgun Now

Words: Mark A. Mandel, © 1998
Music: "Nobody's Moggy Now" (also called "Somebody's Moggy"), by Eric Bogle

Somebody's handgun by the side of the road,
Somebody's pistol that defied the Penal Code.
Someone's favorite firearm that didn't bring him luck
When he ran onto the road and tried to rob an armored truck.
Yesterday it coughed and spat in a haze of smoke and lead
When its owner took exception to a word that someone said.
Now he's just six feet of raw red meat that's very, very dead.
It's nobody's handgun now-w*.

Now, you that love your children, be sure to teach them right --
That playing with stray firearms is neither safe nor bright,
And, if they spy a piece of heat the right-of-way adorning,
Don't pick it up; go call a cop -- or you may be in mourning.
If they take it home or out to play, that could be all she wrote:
You'll be lucky if the worst you see is a harshly worded note
Or a hole that did no worse than ruin Billy's brand-new coat.
It's nobody's weapon
   Not to use or wave or threaten
It's nobody's handgun now-w*.


* You can pronounce "now" as a falsetto ricochet.