Little Fuzzy Lunatics

 Well, I've been on Bailey's Seven, where the fuzzy critters kill,
 And on Endor's moon the Ewoks tried to cook me on a grill.
 A Zarathustran Fuzzy wanted me to be his Dad,*
 But the Hokas out on Toka nearly drove me mad!
  Yes, the Hokas out on Toka (2x)
  The Hokas out on Toka nearly drove me mad!

* Female singers may prefer to change "be" to "meet".

 See, a Hoka will identify with any tale he hears,
 And they've been reading Terran books for over thirty years.
 So every tribe has changed the way they talk and act and look,
 Till each place is like a theme park of a different book.
  Each place is like a theme park (2x)
  Each place is like a theme park of a different book.

 In Canyon Gulch the gambler is the one who runs the town
 'Cause the sheriff in a Western is the dumbest guy around.
 They're always having showdowns, but they shoot into the dirt
 [accent:] 'Cause it 'ud be a cryin' shame if anyone - got - hurt.
  It 'ud be a cryin' shame (2x)
  It 'ud be a cryin' shame if anyone - got - hurt.

 The Brethren of the Coast all fly the Jolly Roger flag.
 They sack Bermuda every year... and then return the swag.
 It's a wonder they get anywhere on Toka's placid seas,
 'Cause they navigate with sextants and with fantasies.
  They navigate with sextants (2x)
  They navigate with sextants and with fantasies.

 Yes, living with the Hokas means an end to peaceful life.
 If they cast you as Don Juan you'd better keep it from your wife!
 And a quiet dockside stroll could get you press-ganged out to sea
 Where the only way to freedom may be mu-ti-ny.
   The only way to freedom (2x)
   The only way to freedom may be mu-ti-ny.

 Now, it's fun to read of Hokas when they're very far away,
 Turning human lives to havoc with their dedicated play...
 But the book I hope they never read and base their actions on
 Is Bimbos of the Death Sun and a Hokacon!
   Bimbos of the Death Sun (2x)
   Bimbos of the Death Sun and a Hokacon!