A Chat With Your Teenager

When I come home late from high school after tutoring third-graders
And I see you on the sofa watching headlines on TV
Of the latest corp'rate raiders and their billion-dollar buyouts,
It's of them that I'd expect to hear the S-word -- not of me!

CHORUS:
We sit down to have a chat,
It's S-word this and S-word that.
I can't control the way you old folks talk to one another,
But I don't want to hear you calling me a "slacker", mother!

There are sleazy politicians with their cozy backroom cronies,
Cutting deals beneath the table with some blue-chip company,
Whose political convictions start and end with re-election.
It's of them that I'd expect to hear the S-word -- not of me!

When I bring a gang of sweaty buddies home for Coke and cookies
After clearing an abandoned lot for gardening, for free,
And you tell me that the landlord hasn't fixed the leaky plumbing,
It's of him that I'd expect to hear the S-word -- not of me!

There are science-fiction singers who are sometimes known as "filkers",
Whose idea of composition is melodic larceny,
Who debase the classic oldies with their parodistic lyrics.
It's of them that I'd expect to hear the S-word -- not of me!