Chap Shtick

Winter's upon us and I hate the winter,
My fingertips crack and my lips are all chapped
And my sinuses ache, my extremities quake
As I shiver and shake with the cold.

With liniment my joints I heat,
I rub ointment into my hands and feet.
Then eye drops, nose drops, cough drops too,
And grease all over my face!