Conreport: Philcon, December 10-12, 2004
Mark A. Mandel,
The Filker With No Nickname
This is not much as con reports go. Many fen make reports that are
witty and amusing and interesting and make you feel almost as though
you had been there yourself. This is mostly a log of songs that I sang
and heard during the con, and some notes of other things that I
did. It also includes some of my own memos to myself, recommendations
of things that I figured it wouldn't hurt to recommend to you,
too.
I originally started logging the songs of my own that I sang at
cons and housefilks so I wouldn't repeat them too soon
unknowingly. Then I realized that if I logged all the songs I heard, I
would have an easier time finding the words or the music or the author
or whatever, and a while after that I thought, "Maybe some other
filkers who were there, and maybe even some who weren't, would like to
have this information too." So here it is.
I didn't remember to bring along a camera until Sunday.
Ben Newman organized this year's Philcon filk
program. <ben, pIthlo'.> ("Ben, we thank you.") Many of
his songs can be found on his web
site.
Incorporating corrections and additions by: Ben Newman, Fax Paladin,
Lee Gold, Gary Ehrlich
Abbreviations
- ttto: to the tune of
- (name)/(name): words by.../music by...
- b/o: based on (story)
- [...]: my guess at the title; or the subject, or a distinctive line
- jip: "join in progress": I arrived after the event started
- pumpkin: a farewell song sung just before leaving for the night
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Calendar
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italics: non-filk events
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8 pm: THEME FILK: SEASONAL SONGS
It's dark. It's cold. It's December. Many cultures and
traditions have winter songs. So does filk. Come share songs that
have something to do with the season!
- Mark Mandel: Jack Frost (Faber)
- Mark: ChapShtick ttto Chopsticks
- Mark: Xcess Carols ttto Simple Gifts
- [This is where I remembered to start keeping track of songs
other people were singing.]
Ben Newman: Wait for The Sun to be Born
- Mark: Count
Vorvlaceslav by Eric Oppen and Mark Mandel. A Barrayaran
(Vorkosigan) version of Good King Wenceslas
- H. Paul Shuch (Dr. SETI): Dawson's Minyan
- Loren Damewood: A Christmas Carol (Tom Lehrer)
- Paul: an oh-my-God rap version of Tom Lehrer's I Hold Your Hand In Mine
- Loren: The Warthog (Flanders & Swann)
- [Ben rules that we have wandered off topic.]
Mark: Jewish Baby, Jewish Star (Garrison Keillor)
ttto "Angels We Have Heard on High"
- Ben: The Sun Will Be Rising Tomorrow
- Mark: Your Seasons, New England
- Paul: [Seasons of My Heart]
- Ben: The Wind That Blows The Autumn Out (Faber)
- B'Dan: (a song in Middle English)
- Amy Fass: (in Middle French) Quant voi en la fin d'estés?
- Mark: Frostbite the Goblin
ttto Frosty the Snowman
- [At nine o'clock we changed to open filking. All I logged here was...]
Mark: Winterfair Gifts
ttto Simple Gifts. B/o the Vorkosigan novella of the same name.
11pm: OPEN FILKING jip
- Mark: The Sounds Of Consonance
ttto McNamara's Band.
(This gets into Klingon, which gets us to the next two songs.)
- Roberta Rogow (rhymes with "logo", not with "know-how"): [Proud To Be Klingons]
- Ben: Hey, Evil Borg Machine-Man ttto Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, Bob Dylan
- (Con hotels, cons, filkers, and combinations of these)
Gary Ehrlich: Hyperion. An interstellar hotel.
- Roberta: a new song [I Love This Con]
- Mark: Smoffing the Filkers ttto Waltzing Matilda
- Sheryl Ehrlich: A SMOF Too Blue, Dave Weingart, ttto A Gown Too Blue
- Ben: Squaring The Circle ttto Waltzing Matilda
- (Animals)
Roberta: The Dinosaurs ttto The Unicorn
- Mark: Little Fuzzy Ancestors ttto Little Fuzzy Animals, Frank Hayes
- Crystal Paul: Treecat Wassail (author unknown)
- (Following along to the Frank Hayes song gets us from animals to plants to food.)
Roberta: [Pretty Vegetation] ttto Little Fuzzy Animals
- Mark: Little Fuzzy Vegetables
- Sheryl: The Night Kaga Brought The Lutefisk Down, Jeff
Bohnhoff, ttto The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down (printed in
Xenofilkia #98)
- Roberta: Neelix' Soup Surprise
- Roberta: Few Hours, pumpkin (Not a food song.)
- Mark: Sir Greenbaum (Alan Sherman), by request
- Ben: Here Be Cartographers
- Amy: [When Last I Saw My Leman Fair]
- Carol Kabakjian: tries Captain Santa Claus but can't remember it
- Mark: Every Wrong Turn In the Book
- Amy: Can't Remember Blues
- Mark: Rocza's Song
- (Three songs by Flanders and Swann, and followers.)
Mark: Philological Waltz (Flanders & Swann)
- Loren: Madeira (Flanders & Swann),
as much as we can remember of it
- Mark: A Gnu (Flanders & Swann)
- Mark: The Sad Tale of the Not So Dislexic Bank Robber
(Brian Biddle), ttto A Gnu, by request
- Amy: (?)
- Mark: reaction to The Sad Tale of the Not So Dislexic
Bank Robber, by request
- Ben: The Secret of Mana
- (Space flight, and some delayed followers
after *interruptions)
Carol: Captain Santa Claus (she remembered the rest of it.)
- Gary: Star Role (Matt Leger), ttto "Starsoul" by Jodi Krangle
and Roger Burton-West, by request
- Ben: The Explorators' Hymn for the Makers
- Mark: Prehistoric Science
- Ben: Uplift (Andy Eigel)
- Gary: Hey, Commander! Ttto Hey, Conductor! by Dave Carter
- Mark: Little Man*
- Ben: Mr. Underhill* (poem)
- Mark: Vingean Heroes ttto Fire In the Sky (Jordin Kare)
- Mark: Riddle of Threes* ttto Threes
- Ben: (?)
- Amy: Perihelion
- Ben: Hyperbolic Orbit
~ 1:30am: Time for me to go. I have invited Ben to crash at our
place, so he is leaving too. Lisa Padol has come in from the Eye of
Argon reading & told us that my son Jeremy reached the semifinal,
so we go there & hear the final. The winner, Lenny Provenzano, is
awarded the prize: to perform, then & there, the very first public
reading of the long-lost last page of the story (true!).
Women's a cappella group from Bryn Mawr College. I love
them. (Listen, Rene, dear, you know what I mean about a cappella
music...)
- The Can-Can Of Middle Earth
(W: J.R.R.Tolkien; M: The Can-can (traditional?); Arr: Ben-San Arizona)
- (I've
Got A Little File
ttto I've Got a Little List from The Mikado.
Gary McGath & Terri Wells / Sir Arthur Sullivan
from The Filkado, a
filk operetta presented at
Noreascon 4
and, hopefully, at Arisia 2005)
- Teddy Bears' Breakdown
ttto Teddy Bears' Picnic
- Trolls ttto Threes, Mercedes
Lackey/Leslie Fish
(When I dictated "Leslie", Dragon
NaturallySpeaking misrecognized it as "Wesley". And as I
dictated this note, it misrecognized "Wesley" as
"grizzly". -- I have to get SP2 on this machine,
dammit. Recognition is better on the other one.)
- Lieder of the Banned, or, Banned from Everywhere
ttto Banned from Argo (Leslie Fish)
- This Road
(b/o Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold)
- Rocza's Song
(b/o the Vlad Taltos novels of Steven Brust, especially Jhereg)
- When Cons Come to New England
ttto When Fall Comes to New England, Cheryl Wheeler
- The DHMO Song ttto The Battle Hymn of the Republic
Some of the women of Sassafrass say that as classics students they
especially enjoyed verse three of Lieder of the Banned.
A documentary about why people learn Klingon. Filmed at last
year's qep'a' (annual convention of the Klingon Language Institute). When the
filmmaker found out what
I do for a living -- I'm a linguist, a language scientist -- he
was eager to interview me, and since I was only coming to the opening
banquet and not staying for the rest of the con, he arranged to do it
on the spot, although the light available was dubious. I don't know if
that made the final cut, since I was on the program for the filk
sing-along and had to leave before the film was over.
Panelists will take turns leading the audience in easy-to-sing
filk favorites. Lyrics will be displayed on a projection screen.
5 pm: Fantasy without fairies & wizards
panel
Some book recommendations that I picked up there:
- Jo Walton, Tooth and Claw, this year's prizewinning novel
- Perdido St. Station (China Miéville [male])
- Authors going in new directions:
- China Miéville: style, ideas (large + challenging), vocabulary (large + well applied)
- Sean Stewart (spelling?)
- Jeff Ford
- Shadows of Baker St., especially the Gaiman story
- Jonathan Latham
- Kelly Lind?
(starts ~8:25)
I arrive early for this event, way too early, as it appears, since
I am the first. I guess my habits have been formed by the masquerade
at Arisia, which is the major fannish masquerade on the East Coast if
I recall correctly, or at least one of the big Costumers' Guild
events. So I walk a few yards down the hall, find a convenient area,
and do my t'ai chi ch'uan.
The masquerade is enjoyable but not nearly so large as at Arisia,
which is not surprising and is nothing to fault it for. After all, if
many of the top costumers in the Northeast are putting all their
efforts into a major masquerade to be held next month, they're not
going to be putting major effort into showing up here.
As at Arisia, the Junior Division (children) competitors come on
first. To my surprise, though, unlike at Arisia (to the best of my
recollection), they are not judged and awarded their prizes
immediately after their part of the competition, but have to wait at
least till the end of the costume presentations; writing this
paragraph almost two weeks later, I don't remember whether they had to
wait through the intermission and the judges' deliberations on the
adult costumes as well. Since these are children, some of them quite
small, I felt that it was unfair both to them and to their parents.
intermission:
Voices Of A
Distant Star, a fine anime that I had never heard of before
(but I'm not an anime fan), but which impressed the hell out of me
11 p.m.: OPEN FILKING
- Roberta: [Hobbits For Sale Or Rent] ttto King of the Road,
Roger Miller (written in a filk-by-committee workshop, Lunacon
'04)
- Mark: Dead Wizards' Houses
ttto "Estate Sale" by Cheryl Wheeler
- Roberta: Con Dude
- Ben: Dragon For Sale (Ironic)
- Gary: Mall Of Galaxy
- Roberta: The Kessel Run
- Mark: Deck The Aisles
Ttto Deck the Halls
- ?: The 12 Scenes Of B-5 ttto The 12 Days of Christmas
- Larry Provenzano: The Little Drummer Boy as done by William Shatner
- Roberta: Carmen Miranda's Ghost Is Haunting Babylon 5
- Ben: Weary Spice Sands
- Mark: The Harkonnen Conscript
- Mattie: Paint a Rainbow, pumpkin
- Space exploration
Roberta: [The Moon] ttto Both Sides Now, pumpkin
- Hope Eyrie, by request by Larry, sung by all, accompanied by Paul
- Paul: [Make The Shuttle Fly Again] ttto Mary-Ellen Carter, by Stan Rogers
- Ariel Cinii: [Seven Down]
- Mark: Shannon's Coming Home
ttto "Cheryl's Coming Home" by Bob Lind, as
covered by the Blues Project on their mid-60's classic album
Projections
- Gary: Never Too Late, with a verse he has tweaked
to Space Ship One, on request for "something about Space Ship One"
- Ben: The Explorators' Hymn for the Makers, ttto Hope Eyrie
- Paul: [Save The Rest Of The Stars], an Earth Day song
- Wolves, etc.
Sarah Hartman, a former member of Sassafrass: [Wild Angel] by Ada
Palmer, Sassafrass foundress and source of most of their
songs.
- Mark: Beast Of My Kind
ttto Least Of My Kind, Cat Faber
- B'dan: Fido, Your Leash Is Too Long (Magnetic Fields)
- Lightspeed
Ariel: FTL v2.0 . (causing me to yell "FTL: Fuck The Limit!")
- Paul: [Leaving Terra] ttto Leaving Liverpool
- Mark: Lightspeed Is Easy
ttto My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean
- Ben: Pfnakapfna ["Where are you going, old friend? ...
All that you want is to rest in the shade."]
- Ariel: (new one) Pokémon Hero
- Mark: Ko-Ko's
Great-Great-Grandson (monologue & song)
- Amy Fass: Always A Boom Tomorrow ttto Tomorrow from Annie
- Applied genetics
Joshua Kronengold: Grew It Myself
- Gary: Iditarod (Mike Campbell)
- Ben: Stray Dog Man (Bill Sutton), by request
- Vorkosiverse
Mark: Winterfair Gifts, by request
- Joshua: It's Not My Fault (Harold Feld) + one additional verse
- Mark: Ivan's Grumble
- Mark: Donna, Dono
- Lisa Padol: Vorloupolous' Cooks
- Mark: a Vorkosigan Feghoot (spoken)
- Ariel: Tea, Earl Grey, Hot ttto Your State's Name Here, Lou and Peter Berryman
- Amy: Two Little Bytes Of Code ttto Three Little Maids from School,
Gilbert & Sullivan, The Mikado
- Chanur
Crystal Paul: A Starship Named Bob ttto Pride of Chanur
- Mark: New Days,
ttto Michael Longcor's setting of Rudyard Kipling's "The Irish Guards"
- The food of the gods
Ariel: I Prayed For Chocolate
- Ben: The Priestess Of Chocolate
- Mark: The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buttered At All, Lee Gold, ttto Mark's instantiation of
The Hedgehog Song
- Ariel: Chocolate Comforts Everything ttto Red River Valley
- Joshua: Eat It Slow
- Potables
Mark: Mark's Jingle
(No, not me. Lord Mark Pierre Vorkosigan.)
- Mark: DHMO Song
- In memoriam
Mark: So
Long, and Thanks (ttto "For the Longest Time", Billy
Joel, for Douglas Adams)
- Ben: So High, So Low (for Sherkaner Underhill, in A
Deepness In The Sky, Vernor Vinge)
- Ariel: Can't Fight A Jabberwock
ttto You Don't Mess Around With Jim (Jim Croce)
- Mark: You Don't Mess With Sethra Lavode,
ttto same, except I don't know the tune well
- Amy: The Jumblies (setting of a poem by Edward Lear)
- Gary: "The Other Shore (Filk Version)" ttto "The Other Shore" by
Conrad Deisler and Hank Card of the Austin Lounge Lizards
- Jeremy Mandel: Can-Can of Middle-Earth
- Ariel: Gilligan's Island ttto Witch of the Westmereland
- Ben: Rivendell Pie
- Mark: Fellowship Going South (Leslie Fish)
Tonight Ariel is also staying with us, so there are more of us in
the van. She has to get up early to lead a T'ai Chi session, so Ben tells
her how to get to the trolley and the Convention Center, and I give
her a transit token.
By the time Ben and I are up for breakfast, Ariel is long
gone. Jeremy has left word that he is "burned out" and does not want
to be awakened, so Ben and I have a late breakfast. This time I
remember that I want to bring along the camera, so I bring it
downstairs to breakfast with me. And before leaving the table I notice
the dangling drawstring of the
package of paper napkins. I didn't do it. Nobody did it. I guess
it's just having a lot of music in the house.
1:30 pm: Hanging out in the consuite
Conversation with JJ Brannon on Methodological naturalism and
debating Creationists. Must go (re?)read Hume's essay on miracles.
I stop in at Nancy
Lebovitz's table, just to visit, not to buy. Well, maybe one button... two... well, maybe
this bumper sticker... ooh, I gotta have THAT one!...
Gazing at some jewelry and wishing I could buy some for Rene, I
hear "Bujold listie!" from right in front of me. Looking up, I realize
I am at the booth of some old friends and fellow Bujold listies,
Kirsten and Wayne Houseknecht, aka Fabric Dragon:
3 p.m.: Dr. SETI's concert
Dr. SETI
Songs:
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last modified 2004-12-28