I'm kind of freaking out about Star Wars Episode II. As you may know, I just got back from the humungo Star Wars Celebration in Indianapolis and was appropriately brainwashed into believing this film was going to be--in producer Rick McCallum parlance--fucking awesome. [Side note: Is it just me, or is it a little strange that a film's producer has become such a celebrity?] Everyone who had seen Attack of the Clones kept saying (without exactly saying, since they are still on Lucasfilm's payroll) that, yeah, The Phantom Menace kinda sucked, but this one is, really and truly, so much better!

Maybe it's worth asking "Is the title better?"

I have to admit that I was a tad suspicious when the eight-minute montage of Attack footage they showed to whet our geek-appetities replaced all dialogue with a musical soundtrack. The cynic in me thought "that was wise since it's usually the dialogue which ends up sucking." But still, it looked pretty groovy: gasp-inducing landscapes, neato-cool aliens, and a Yoda that at least looks like Yoda (I'm all for CG if it means never having to look at that mutant imposter who appeared in Menace again). Speaking of CG, I know that Jar Jar Binks appears briefly in this film but you'd never know that by going to Celebration II--not a Jar to be found anywhere! No pictures, no pop cans, no mentions, not even poor Ahmed Best--nothing! It makes me feel a little sad for him, honestly. But I digress...

Now that I have my opening-day ticket, I've become supremely paranoid because I've made it this far without finding out any of the "surprises," and I want to keep it that way. I mean, you can pretty much figure that someone dies, because someone always does--the trick is not finding out who until you see the movie. There's less than a week to go, and with the new Entertainment Weekly cover story and reviews splashed over all the papers, it's all I can do to avoid catching something out of the corner of my eye. Thank heavens I can't get any TV channels, or it would be all over. I hear the soundtrack and toy packaging are especially bad with giving away significant plot points.

Even worse, as the reviews come rolling in they are, I learned today, BAD! At best mixed. I haven't read them, but you can't miss the various grading systems: Ebert gave it two stars, Entertainment Weekly a lowly C+. I feel myself becoming disappointed without even knowing what disappoints me. I begin to envy my pal Colby, presently on tour in Europe, for being forced to see the movie in Italian--perhaps he'll have the more enriching experience! But I will still try to approach the film with an open mind. For three years I have been prepared for cheesy dialogue, overlong battle scenes, under-explained villains, convoluted politics, sketchy pseudo-scientific-religious theories and a handful of cheap laughs. But, oh please, just allow me to be transported--if only for a moment--into that magical realm of the Star Wars Universe, where the flight of a spacecraft or the march of a stormtrooper fills me with the thrill of dread; where lightsabers are drawn and music swells and gauntlets are thrown; where a costume or a vista or a piece of music momentarily takes my breath away. If Attack of the Clones can capture, even for an instant, that sense of childhood wonder, then it will be--if not a success--than at least not a complete failure.

Six days...

Happy Graduation, Melanie!

Note: If you're not familiar with some of the main characters in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (the ones that were not in the last movie), then perhaps you shouldn't click on some of the links below.

I've decided that the pick up line of the weekend is: "Hey baby, are you spoiler-free [wink]?"

Today began with Maori actors Temuera Morrison and Daniel Logan doing the Haka not fifteen feet from me, and ended with Spider-Man. Actually, ended with two scoops of Ben & Jerrys and purchasing my ticket to Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones online. I'll miss the first showing, but 9:00am opening day (Thursday May 16) is good enough for me--I hope they are okay with me going in late to work. And since producer Rick McCallum has been pushing it so hard this weekend, I am glad to report that I'll be seeing the film in its full digital glory.

An Entertainment Weekly article a couple of weeks ago mentioned eight minutes of footage that was shown at a recent film festival (ShoWest, I believe), and I'm happy to say I got to see that eight minutes this weekend. Three times (so far), in fact. Not to get too geeky on you folks (too late), but ... this movie is gonna be sooooooo cooooool! And the nice thing is that so far I've made it through the weekend without any major plot points being revealed (knock wood). I've learned some new things, but nothing that made me go "D'oh! I wish I hadn't seen/heard that!" (knock knock knock!!)

And Spider-Man was great.