Once again I am pillaging links from other people's blogs, but this one is just too good to pass up:

The Random Kitten Generator

Enjoy!

I realized after I got offline yesterday that exactly one year ago (yesterday), a few hundred of us were herded into the Westin hotel ballroom and informed that we were being laid off from Amazon.com. I still remember that bizarre rush of exhilaration and dread that came with the e-mail invitation to the mandatory meeting. Rumors had been flying the day before that layoffs were iminent, and many had (correctly) predicted that all of Seattle's Customer Service would be eliminated.

When the e-mail came, Bob and I were just about to go pick up the lunch order we had called in. So, Bob called the restaurant back and said something like "We have to cancel our order because I think we're going to be fired." The e-mail said to take all of our things with us (VERY ominous indeed). I packed up my computer, saying "They can pry the laptop from my cold, dead hands!" Although they gave us the rest of that day off (paid), most--except for a handful of unlucky folks--were not given walking papers that day. We had four whole months to contemplate our futures before the Amazon umbillical would be snipped. Many folks found new jobs within the company over the ensuing months. I (along with my team) were personally offered at least three different opportunities to stay, but none of us did. In the meantime, as a consolation, I bought myself a new laptop.

After the meeting we all went to Mama's and had not a few margaritas. I miss Mama's.

Suddenly I'm absolutely terrified about the job search. You would think I've been looking for a job this whole time, but not so. Beyond the occasional half-hearted Monster.com application, my job search has consisted of me imagining the numerous ways people will laugh me out of their various high-powered offices.

But this is good, because my rising anxiety means I'm starting to get motivated to move forward--thus the scary proximity of the assumed rejection. It will also motivate me to work hard to fight that possible rejection by doing whatever possible to make me a good candidate for...whatever I decide to apply for.

If you need me, I'll be hiding under the covers.

Chris sent me this Roger Ebert article about do-it-yourself DVD commentary. I shudder to think how many horribly boring commentaries will clog the web as a result, but of course some of the offical DVD commentaries are pretty awful. To date the worst one I ever heard was Frankie Muniz for "My Dog Skip" -- he spent the first half hour or so talking about how one scene or another was "cool," and how much fun he had making the movie. Then he was silent for the entire second half of the movie.

Of course, one could ask how I ended up watching the commentary for "My Dog Skip" in the first place, but I plead the fifth.

One great contender for the guerilla commentary project would be "Sphere," in which a great cast, a respected director and a decent special-effects budget all combine to make a baffling and hilarious failure. I bought a used copy of the DVD in the vain hope that the actors in the commentary would spend the whole time savaging the film, but alas, they were the picture of diplomacy. I'd like to have Samuel L. Jackson, Dustin Hoffman, Liev Schrieber, Sharon Stone and Queen Latifah all down a bunch of cocktails and tell us what they REALLY think!

In more movie news, my recommendation for the week is Osmosis Jones. It's really better than you think. Check the link above and/or this one for decent reviews and plot synopses. One thing the reviews don't mention enough for my taste is the teriffic animation! In these days of Pixar-driven features and the inexplicable popularity of "Shrek," you might think it would seem flat. No so! The animated characterizations work beautifully with the voice acting to create fully-formed (and funny) characters. Often, the animation cracked me up more than the jokes--check the backgrounds. As far as comedy, Chris Rock gets out some good one-liners (including an apparently unintentional one where he calls a character by the name of the voice actor) and there are many amusing moments in both the animated and live-action segments. It doesn't seem to me that they were trying to make a laugh-out-loud-roll-on-floor type of comedy. It's more just a fun ride--and scientifically sound as well.

Okay, I just read my friend JD's blog, and if he can have a boring, sluggish Sunday, then dammit I can too. Actually, I'm just extending that proviso to my whole life. It reminded me that I wanted to tell you (for no reason except self-congratulation) that I haven't had coffee or Diet Coke (my two staples of modern living) for an entire week. Last Sunday was the IKEA trip with Mike and Jean-Michele, where I woke up with coffee and revived with a Diet Coke at lunch. Since then I've been on my health odyssey, and honestly I haven't thought much about either one (the beverages, not the people--I assure you, Mike and JM, that I think of you constantly). It probably helps that I have two cups of green tea a day, but hey, I never said I was giving up caffiene--we're not barbarians here.

Frankly it's bizarre how easy this all is, but I'll stop now because nobody really wants to hear about my dietary habits. I will say that I feel noticeably better physically and my skin freaking ROCKS. Not a blemish for miles. That right there is enough to keep me in kelp and tofu for a while yet.

So, I've decided I live in the coolest damn neighborhood in town. I love walking around and looking at the pretty buildings and fun people. Less than half a block away guys play rowdy games of pickup basketball while yuppies duke it out on the outdoor raquetball court. Youngish, arty people abound (probably due to the Pratt Fine Arts Institute a few blocks away). One guy was walking behind me along a busy sidewalk and says out of the blue, in the thickest Brooklyn accent, "gaw-juss day, ain't it?" After I agreed, he said "take care, deah" before trotting off into a store. That's one thing I really love about Brooklyn--everyone calls you "dear," and talks to you for no reason at all, if they feel like it.

Within six blocks of my apartment are an organic market, a gourmet foods shop, a regular cheap grocery store, two video stores, a vitamin/health foods store, a variety of good restaurants, an equal variety of fast-food restaurants (including the amusingly-named "Not Ray's Pizza"), a cute bookstore-slash-vegetarian cafe, a thrift store, several antique shops, and a place that sells candles and beautiful candlesticks for prices that would be triple at someplace like Pottery Barn. I haven't found a pet store yet, and I might have a hard time finding a place to get my hair cut (since all the salons seem to specialize in African hair), but I wouldn't go back to Park Slope in a hurry--I like it here.

It's starting to hit me how lucky I was to find this apartment, especially considering what a nightmare the realtors were. The last couple days I've been waking up with the realization that I-have-my-own-apartment-in-New-York-City. Jesus! How the hell did that happen? Honestly, there are lots of people who move here who never get to say that. And here I am, and the apartment is great and cheap, and the neighborhood is teriffic, and it's close to the subway and... I'm just in shock I think. Happy shock.

I guess I'd better start looking for that job, now, eh?

Ah, don't feel like writing anything. My computer had a tummy ache (a virus) and I spent so long disinfecting and downloading a new Internet Explorer, I am already burned out on the computer. I'm either gonna go to bed or watch "Osmosis Jones."

Ugh. That last post got screwed up in some sort of wacky HTML snafu and I can't fix it--sorry!

I decided to move the the CD stuff to a whole new blog, which was just an excuse, really, to have another blog. In putting that one together, I decided to retitle and re-template this one. I like it better, hope you do too. I never liked the "New York Stories" title--woefully unoriginal. Slightly more thought went into this title, though it's not particularly original, either. Bonus points to anyone who recognizes its origin...

Of course now that I've changed all this stuff none of the links work, so I'll get to fixing everything in the coming days.

Until next time, may the wheels on your carts stay intact.

Hey, what do you think of the new look and title? Love it? Hate it? Let me know.

Also, check out my posted by Ginger D. | 1:25 AM  

[CD stuff moved to Obsessive Compulsive Dance Party 2002 blog.]

I'm sad that I missed the Paper Tiger anniversary party, but I was too hungry and grumpy to go into town.