Spence Lost Our Money

Spence Lost Our Money

(tune: "Don't Push That Button", Duane Elms)
Lyrics by: Gary Ehrlich (c) 6/1993

This is the (mostly) true story of one of the most memorable stories (and moments) of the original Conterpoint, held in suburban Baltimore in 1993. I was at the Thursday evening pre-con party at Steven Joel & Lindy?s when the phone call from Spencer came (and contributed $20 to the collection to pay the hotel until he arrived with the con checkbook). The instafilk hit me the next day, and when the contest for songs written at-con rolled around Sunday (we had a lot of instafilkers in those days), I was ready

When Spence set out for Bal'mer to come to Conterpoint
His van was filled with electronic stuff
The registration records he could not fit inside
And so he tied the box down on the roof
While warping down the turnpike the box it opened up
A check went bouncing down I-95
Our dough and pre-reg listing are blowing in the wind
To Maryland they never will arrive

He lost our money; That's our Spence
He lost our money; has no cents
He lost the hotel payment and registration list
If we start getting junk mail you know that we'll be pissed
He lost our money; Lordy no!
He lost our money; 'Fraid it so
Calamity Coyote ne'er had luck quite this bad
That Spence arrived at all we should be glad!

Spence stopped to phone up Lindy to tell her of the news
An urgent cash collection was arranged
"Another Spence emergency" is what the filkers used
To describe this latest moment of Spence fame
He accepted our charity and went to the hotel
Unpacked his gear and went to Radio Shack
He came back with some patchcords, some microphones and stands
I wonder if he *really* lost that check!
Spencer's reaction was a look of "Oh no, not again!" and an attempt to shrink behind the sound board. Then he came after me with a spare microphone cord, at which point I hurriedly finished the song and went flying out of the ballroom.

I had told Steve Brinich about the song after I started working on it Friday night. He responded with the following eulogy (and sung it at the one-shots):

THE ULTIMATE TRIBUTE
Words: Steve Brinich, copyright 1993
Music: Eric Bogle -- "No Man's Land"

Well, how d'ye do now, Electro, old friend?
I see that you've met a most untimely end.
Your latest performance went far overboard,
So now you're here, strangled with microphone cord.
You've also been squashed like a winery grape,
A terrible price for your poetic rape.
Did friends try to help you in your final scrape,
Or did they all grab you and block your escape?

Did the rage build up slowly from your filksong so lowly?
Were you just the last straw that broke that camel's back?
Did your eyeballs bulge out of their sockets?
Can I have these filk notes in your pockets?
Then, at the one-shots themselves, Sue Knapp (now Cochran) penned the following:

Con Sequences (titled by Carol Kabakjian)
Tune:Barrett's Privateers by Stan Rogers
Lyrics:Sue Knapp

Oh the year was 1992
And I'm glad that I was there to see
At Concertino in the month of June
The con suite gather for to sing a tune

Oh damn it all!  We were bold
For Spencer Love had not been told
That we'd sing to him of Rennie's plea,
"Don't Move Mountains" singlehandedly
And under a table Spence did flee!

Oh the year is 1993
And I'm glad I'm at the filk con now
At Conterpoint in the month of June
Gary Ehrlich sang a familiar tune

Oh damn it all!  He was bold
He up and sang the lyrics cold
He pulled no punch, spared no jeers
Now he's a running man, we can see his fears
He reduced J. Spencer Love to tears!
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