The following is the canonical collection of all the verses I've written
Original Version--Winner of Pirates Of Fenzance Filksong Contest
Their ship rose up from Foggy Bottom one hot summer day Borne skyward by humidity into the August haze As lines of fleeing limos towards the city bridges rolled A crew of spectral pirates had attacked the capital CHORUS: Federal-O! Federal-Ly! Ghost Pirates in DC! They headed for the Capitol to gather up some bills Their skull and crossbones fluttered as they marched on up the hill They burst into the chambers seeking Congressmen to rape But got caught up in committes; barely making an escape Down Pennsylvania Avenue the pirate crew then went They headed for the White House to kidnap the President Their swords were at the ready, razor sharp and tough as rocks But half the crew was shredded when they tried to kidnap Socks The Pentagon sent tanks and planes to blast the phantom crew They even called the Ghostbusters to see what they could do A group of fundamentalists saved the pirates from the knife They claimed that even spirits have a basic right to life They broke into the Treasury and robbed the national bank And when they stole the Hope Diamond things started looking blank 'Til they tried to flee the city and they took a tragic fall They met up with the IRS; The worst pirates of all! The pirates fled up '95 to find a safer port They found themselves a safehouse deep in downtown Baltimore Where they met up with some SF fans, as new crew took them on To help them form another plan--a bigger better con! FINAL CHORUS: Baltimore-O! Baltimore-Hey! WORLDCON IN 98! Next three verses were added 12/93 following original 4th verse. The third of these verses will become the concluding verse following BucConneer. (It would have gone into use in '95 if Baltimore lost the bid) They went to Planet Hollywood to rustle up a feast Like foreign dignitaries they were left to eat in peace But when they finished dining they found out to their dismay Their ship had not been legally parked; and so was towed away They headed for the stadium to catch a Redskins game The visitors saw them come in and headed home again The pirates took the field, then occured a grisly scene For the Redskins beat the Pirates, 27-17. At last the phantom pirate crew began to fade away Without their ship and half their crew they could not win the day Now if you've listened to my tale its message you will see Not even supernatural force can defeat bureaucracy! This verse replaced the Redskins verse at Contata '94 They went to Giants Stadium to see a World Cup match They prowled around the grandstand seeking articles to snatch They watched the players move the ball with foot and knee and head But when the fans began to riot, they quickly turned and fled This verse added 1/95 after Gingrich and the freshmen took office They headed for the Capitol to gather up some bills Their skull and crossbones fluttered as they marched on up the hill But their advance was halted by a force of power brute And their ranks were trimmed like budgets by the fearsome Knights of Newt! This verse replaced the Redskins verse in 1/95. At the time the Bullets only had 8 wins on the season They set a course for Landover to hit a Bullets game The USAir Arena seemed a spot to make some fame The pirates took the court but the results were quite obscene The Bullets scored 138. The Pirates 113 These two verses replaced the bureaucracy verse and the original Baltimore in '98 verse in 11/95 following BucConner's successful Worldcon bid and the government shutdowns. At this time the Redskins verse was also dropped from the song The crew was sent to Lorton but parole soon came their way The prison needed room to lock some drug dealers away So they returned to DC, much mayhem they proposed But the bureaucrats had all gone home--the government was closed! The pirates fled to Baltimore, with fans shacked up and hid And then they launched a stunning plot and won a Worldcon bid But SF fans from coast to coast have nothing more to fear The pirates have now gone legit; they're running BucConneer!!