My father's a day younger than actress Raquel Welch
C F C F C F C
My arthritis kicked in when I reached forty years
F C F C F G
And my eyes need bifocals to see
C F C F C F C
And the singles-bar crowds I rubbed elbows with
C F C F G
Don't do much for me
D7 G
For the ladies I see look so wrinkled
D7 F
And never could they really be
E F E D
Like the glamorous actress I've loved so, since I first saw her on screen
G C D
Oh the money I spent buying all of her films
G C D
And the time that I spend when I'm free
G C D
At the art houses, video stores or at home
C D
On TV Land and AMC
F C
And we near share the same birthday
F D
She's just one day older than me
G C D
As long as she still looks as good at our age
F C E
I know there's still hope for me
Middle-ager love
My den's equipped with a big screen TV, her face fills an entire wall
"Director's Cut" videos spill from my shelves,
Their soundtracks roll down the hall
When I heard she'd be here for a film festival
My good luck I could not believe
But imagine the angst of the Dilbert clone
Whose pointy-haired boss won't grant leave
(SPOKEN: But all my friends got time off!)
Oh, the wishes I made for a body like hers
And the OT I worked to afford
A membership to the health club she hawked,
the sweat dripped from every pore
'Til she made a personal appearance
Unveiled her new workout deal
My conscience said "You're too lazy."
But I knew her muscles were real
Middle-ager love (Ouch, my back!)
Though I've divorced from my first wife, and brought up our two kids
Though I'd dreamed about a better job, felt like life had hit the skids
Just about that time I met Bobbie, (She's now always by my side)
And though she thinks me meshuggeh, I'm gonna dream about my idol 'til I die
I've gone out and bought the film books that the Borders has on sale
When she has a new premiere I am right there without fail
Her tapes line my video closet
My VCR plays on and on
And some days I think of her fondly
And I know--she keeps me young